ADVANCED FILIUM TECHNOLOGY!!

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Last week I saw an ad in the NYT trumpeting a new clothing line called Ably that features the Advanced Filium Technology. So, just what is AFT? What is Filium? We won't tell you. Have to kill you if we do. But what we can tell you is this (direct quote):

Imagine... a life where your clothes refuse to smell anything but fresh after weeks of wearing. 

That's right, those stubborn bastards just won't reek. Why, this stuff is miraculous and oh so Earth Conscious for all those virtual signalling devotees. 

Ably Clothes:

Anti-stink!

Quick dry!

Anti-stain!

Nano free!

Well, call up the Vatican-we have a bona fide miracle on our hands here! I mean, Christ Almighty, NANO FREE!

Testimonial from a grateful Mom:

"I have three teenaged boys who like most boys their age, smell like goats. I have to put on a haz-mat suit to go into their rooms to gather up dirty clothes as you know they are incapable of putting them into the clothes chute. Now, thanks to Advanced Filium Technology, the clothes are good for weeks! Now, I only have to enter rooms to collect dirty dishes and rotting food! Thank you sweet Jesus for AFT!!!"

My reaction was to shake my head WTF. This is clearly designed with the monied urbanites in mind. With all the things that are in sore need to be addressed on this planet, what is R&D investment being spent on? Let's help people out so they don't have to launder so often. OK, marginally Earth Conscious (cost of power to run the washer and dryer, use of precious water etc) but really? I'm sure the AFT folks would argue that they are on the cutting edge of clothing technology. All ready to roll when all the water is gone out West. They may be dying of dehydration, but at least they ain't stinking!

Nevertheless, I feel this ranks up there with other insanity such as creating sentient AI, space shots to the Moon and Mars and building $13 billion air craft carriers that can be taken out with a couple of cruise missiles. Such a waste of money and effort.