TALES FROM RETAIL HELL: ENDLESS COLORS OF RIBBONS

 

I had taken some empties to Horrocks and their system is to line them up on a counter, have a clerk verify the count and communicate this to whomever is working as head cashier at their counter nearby. Then, go to that counter and the cashier will pay you.

On this day, the head cashier was in the middle of taking an order for a gift basket over the phone. So many choices, so many decisions and unfortunately for both me and the cashier, the customer is clearly overwhelmed. The cashier had waded through the basics: which one of our many gift basket offerings (seen either online or pamphlet) would you like? Ok, this one has this and this and this. Now, you have 4 additions and you can choose from etc, etc. I'm standing there patiently bemused as memories of years of customer interaction come to mind. The customer became stuck on these 4 choices and repeated prompts about these choices were repeated over and over by the cashier. She looked up at me, realizing that I had been there for a bit and gave me a quizzical look. I pointed over to the empties counter and she nodded as she again tried to get this idiot to make up her mind over the 4 fucking choices. "Now, you want this, this, this and this...correct?" Ma'am, I'm afraid that is not one of your choices-here they are again." We make eye contact and she looks to be running out of patience. She mouths to me "how much?" and I hold up fingers: three, four, oh. She moves over to the register. She is finally making progress-the 4 choices have been made and verified on the order form. "Now, she says, we have 4 colors of wrap, this this this or this: which one would you like?" She pulls out my $3.40 out of the till and hands it to me mouthing "thank you."  I smile and nod and as I turn to leave, I hear her say, "ok, you want this for the wrap, now what kind of ribbon would you like?     We have endless colors of ribbons."