Critter Problems or Happy Hunting Mom and Dad!

The darn cats are bringing in live critters left and right. I was walking through the kitchen and Tomi was staring at her food dish. Nothing unusual about that, she is a glutton and never misses a chance to lobby for a meal. Then I looked closer and I'll be damned: there was a small mouse sitting upright, his butt in the middle of Tomi's dish, happily nibbling away at a morsel of cat food. I looked at Tomi who seemed perplexed, perhaps stunned at the chutzpah of the rodent and said "Girl, are you going to sit there and let that mouse eat your lunch?" Since this brought no reaction, I ducked back around the corner to the pantry and got a clear plastic bin to capture the little guy. Tomi, seeing that I had the situation in hand, wandered off into the living room. "Really? You're not going to do a thing, you lazy house cat?" The mouse, evidently in gourmet seventh heaven with his tidbit of Friskies Seafood Platter, never flinched as I swooped down with the bin and trapped him. I lifted up Tomi's dish and away we went to the back 40, Mr. Mouse still nibbling away. How was the wine sir? Perhaps some dessert and a disgestif? 

 

Twenty minutes later, I am heading out the door to pick up C from work and I notice Molls staring intently at the sofa. Oh, never a good sign but at least, Molls is a reliable pointer. I lift up the couch and sure enough, out scrambles a chipper. I open the slider and rush off to close all the doors to the rest of the house and return to no sign of him. C and I arrive home and now Bin is staring at the couch. It takes us a good 15 minutes to trap the critter and he is delivered to the back 40. Chippers are incredibly quick and I am sweating like a pig. C gives her evening workout a pass and collapses in the bath with a glass of wine. 

 

I don't know what it is but spring and fall, the crew does this stuff. C's theory is that they feel sorry for us: they never see us hunt and bring stuff in, so in their eyes, we obviously are pathetic, incompetent hunters and cannot fend for ourselves. They haven't figured out how we manage to bring home the Little Friskies or my recent weight gain. I  suppose felines have something similar to the Catholics: things in life that cannot be explained are mysterium fidei-the Mysteries.

On Turning 60

Well friends, this is a landmark. Officially an old guy yet not quite a senior citizen. No matter. I am happy to still be here. I've outlived so many from the old days-Michele, Moksha, Lowell, Gail, Johnny Angel. Yet, I am fortunate enough to be with another from those same times-C. I am so very blessed to have such a thoughtful and loving mate by my side. And our katters, who are our children/companions/roommates, full of quirks like all other creatures. Yeah, the world seems to be going to hell in a handbasket but it always has. There's always been crap, sometimes it's worse than usual. But it's all crap.

In the end, we live on a gorgeous planet-it is indeed, a sweet old world. For my beloved:

 

The Gershwin's: A Foggy Day with Ella and Louis

Birthday Selfie

Well, these 2 geezers gave it a try-Mr. SquirmyPants wouldn't hold still..

Great pose there, bud-thinking of a snack no doubt.

 

 

 

 

Two Guys Talkin'

J-Hey, man!

B-Hey, what's shakin'?

J-Not much-how you be?

B-Cool, man-Happy Birthday from me, Chunk and Crazy.

J-LOL, thanks-Chunk and Crazy-sounds like one of those awful buddy cop shows from the 70's.

B-Well, that genre has been revived-look at True Crime.

J-Yeah, Woody Harrelson-there's crazy.

B-60 dude,whew, that is getting up there!

J-A little respect here and watch the claws.

B-Shrug-60 is old to a cat. About 3 times longer than our normal shelf life. And, of course you have my respect.

J-Hmm, you got your claws crossed?

B-Really? You think I can do that?

J-Metaphorically, then.

B-Of course not! Are you getting sensitive all of a sudden about your age? Sheesh, we're both a couple of geezers.

J-Indeed.

B-You're not all morose are you? Be thankful your feet are still hitting the floor.

J-I am and no, I'm not morose. Just that Fall has come too soon.

B-I hear you there, but this is just a taste. 70's this weekend. Besides, we're liking those fires you've been burning in the fireplace. Nice and toasty!

J-True that. Just not ready for the cold stuff not after last winter.

B-Will you get over it, already? Stop whining. Anyway-did you enjoy your birthday dinner with your pals?

J-Yes, I did and I'm glad you and Molls mingled. Even the Calico stayed upstairs for most of the evening-that's a record for her.

B-Well, I like a good mingle. I like your friend Sue.

J-We noticed, lol. I think she was a bit surprised.

B-Whattaya expect with cats around? Of course, it's gonna be laptime! She recovered very nicely and gave me some nice scritches.

J-Well, good-and thank you for not jumping on the table.

B-I didn't want to embarrass you-besides, there wasn't much up there.

J-That's never stopped you in the past!

B-Here's to you pal.

J-Oh, I'm number one? How nice.

J-What is up with the Calico today? Running all over the place-is she ill?

B-Yes, I believe she is but not in the way you think. Her moniker is no mistake.

J-Aren't you being unkind?

B-After what she has done to me over the years? No slack for her! And just because she gets all purry-furry around you with her daddy's girl routine. Wise up, man!

J-You're sounding a tad jealous there laddie.

B-Nooooo. It's just disgusting the way you fold under her charms-a little purring and tailing and you turn gooey. You have this problem with all the ladies?

J-Ahhhhh. No. Generally, I have not attracted that kind of attention.

B-Women don't flirt with you, eh?

J-Not really.

B-I don't think you are paying attention.

J-Now, just how the hell would you know? You've only known me with C, we rarely entertain and I don't take you around like some folks do with their dogs.

B-Just saying.

J-Are you saying I don't pay attention to things?

B-Well, that's an issue plaguing your entire species.

J-Now where is THIS going?

B-Never mind. Sorry I brought it up.

J-Sometimes, you are just a pain in the ass.

B-Poor apes just can't handle the truth of their inadequacies.

J-Oh, give me a break.

B-What are you people gonna do when ebola mutates and goes airborne? I can see it now: Ebolapocolapse in all the rags. Any little threat and the apes immediately default to the end of the world.

J-What a bizarre segue. You're the one who sounds like they're freaking.

B-I'm freaking because you apes will be freaking. And no one is taking care of business out there. Hell, that thing whips into the mega-cities in central Africa-well, let's just say those country's worries about population control will be over. Why is the UN dragging their feet? They sure as hell wouldn't if a bunch of German white folk were dropping like flies.

J-Good grief you are ALL worked up about this. You've been hanging around with me too long, lol.

J- Seriously, I don't know what to tell you, man. Yep, dark folk dying does not inspire a sense of urgency. Gawd, look at the mess still in Haiti. Hell, even in the Katrina areas. What has brought all this on-you been listening to NPR?

B-

J-Yeah, I heard the same interview with the head of WHO. It IS scary. This on top of Putin,ISIS, the upcoming election season and Scottish Independence (just joking!). And, you have a point-the media turns any threat into MAJOR DRAMA OMG. People are freaked to begin with and the media feeds it. Sells newspapers ya know.

B-Don't get me started on ISIS. COME ON NOW-this is how warfare has been conducted for centuries-figure out things that drive the enemy crazy and do it. Rape the women, kill the children and wounded. They know how to push the West's buttons and beheadings fit the bill. But what I am not hearing is a discussion along these lines: is ISIS simply conducting a traditional form of warfare that the West has distanced itself from for years or was it done purposely to set up the West to get into very nasty conflict? Is there some weird prophesy trying to be matched up here? Like the Christian fanatics in Congress who were trying to manipulate events to correspond with Biblical prophesies about the End of Days and the Rapture?

J-Yeah, it really does seem like ISIS is sticking their chin out. I keep hearing from the “experts” who describe ISIS as being filled with psychopaths. Propaganda or truth? Indeed, if they are nutjobs, well, then it makes sense that in their minds-yeah, let's do this shit and really fuck with the Americans. I dunno.

B-Well I say “Send In The Drones” (apologies to A Little Night Music). Kill them all. But of course not-we conduct “Civilized War”, one of the ape's most atrocious oxymorons.

B-Anyway, sorry to get all worked up. It doesn't look like the virus can jump to felines...for now. I just don't care to think about the chaos if things go south. I've experienced plagues in the past and it ain't pretty.

J-Bubonic?

B-Yep and periodic cholera. I'd be nice and cozy then my human would die.

J-(scratching behind an ear) I'm sorry, buddy. If things go badly, we'll all be together-Mom and I, you and the girls.

B-I know. Just worries me sometimes.

J-Are you getting enough ketchup?

B-LOL ok, ok-Garrison. Thank you for not spelling it the other way.

J-Oh, you mean like the old 60's commercial with some chef taking a mallet to try and pound 20 tomatoes into every bottle....and if it were “CATsup”-20 cats into every bottle???

B-Some people are very cruel to us.

J-That's just wrong, lol. Like the famous Python sketch with the guy making music by pounding mice tails.

B-Oh, well now-THAT'S funny!

J-Speaking of rodents, can you guys stop bringing them in alive??? For crying out loud-you KNOW we don't eat them!! Will you talk to the others??

B-I do apologize but it's an instinct thing and we want to honor you guys.

J-We realize this and appreciate the sentiment.... but....

B-Ok. But it's gonna be a tough sell to our own grey, chunky ISIS member.

J-Sigh-give it a try-she is quite the hunter, isn't she?

B-She IS awesome.

Breaking the Fourth Wall...

Now, gentle reader and fans...this is a good and proper example for the use of the word AWESOME. Grey Molly IS an awesome hunter, not only for the variety of species she is known to bring down but for the dedicated ferocity she displays while in the act. If I were some critter out there, seeing her in action would definitely fill me with AWE (and shock) and I would probably run for my life or simply tremble into heart failure.

Consider this as opposed to the following examples featuring poor and generally ridiculous overuse of the word:

-Dude-check out this AWESOME video.

-this is an AWESOME pizza.

-you had a good day? AWESOME

-AWESOME pair of sneakers you have on.

Thank you for your attention and we now return back to the conversation already in progress....

J-As you have observed, one tough broad in an alley fight, lol.

B-She heard about that BTW.

J-Uh oh.

B-No, she was quite touched and smiled before she unleashed a swift left jab into my jaw.

J-LOL What's with her tail sniffing? Is she losing it and thinking you're her son?

B-Well, you've asked before and I don't know. She's never called me by his name. I'm thinking a mommy habit.

J-So she feels maternal even though you're nearly the same age.

B-Yeah, I'll buy that. Yawn. I need a nap-happy 60^th. Many more I hope. (headbutt)

J-Nothing says affection like cat drool. Thanks buddy! How about a snack before you turn in?

B-You're the best, EVER!

J-AWESOME!

Strange Stuff on Saturn

Whoa!

 

 

First spotted by Voyager in 1979. When Cassini arrived in 2006, it was still there.

Kudos to the team on Earth that replicated the hexagonal motion. Pretty cool.

 

High Summer

 

 

 

 

 

 

Since it is fair season, a song from Richard Thompson covering a traditional Irish tune and rebuffing a drunken yob:

 

 

Who Knew Weird Al Was An EM?

Fabulous new video from Weird Al Yankovic parodying Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines".

My English Major wife is a fan with reservations, wincing at the political incorrectness and rather mean-spirited tone (she would never call someone a moron even when their essays are filled with homophone errors. And they do it "alot"). 

 

 

 

 

Grey Molly, however, feels people should just suck it up, get with the program and for Christssakes, learn the right way to use it's and its. Guilty as charged Molls, mea culpa.

Your Imam Don't Dance and Your Ayatollah Don't Rock n' Roll

Apparently, we seem to have more in common with one of our Axis of Evil enemies, Iran, than we thought:

May 21, 2014--Six young people who were arrested in Iran for dancing in a YouTube video to Pharrell Williams' song "Happy" have been freed according to the International Campaign for Human Rights in Iran. The director of the video, however, has not been freed.

According to the Iranian Students' News Agency, Tehran Police Chief Hossein Sajedinia ordered the arrests of the three men and three women for helping to make an "obscene video clip that offended the public morals and was released in cyberspace". Authorities forced the young people to repent on State TV.

Yep, that's obscene all right. Boys and girls together. Girls not properly chaperoned by a male relative. Girls with their heads uncovered. And they're dancing. Together. Such sexual innuendo in those hip shakes. AND THEY ARE HAVING FUN!!!

Sounding pretty familiar isn't it?

 

 



Iranian President Hassan Rouhani reaction echoes that of the Dianne Wiest character in the this film:

"Happiness is our people's right. We shouldn't be too hard on behaviors caused by joy".

Up North, C has a Birthday and Weird Happenings

  

F un stuff-we were invited to our friends Ken and Karen's cottage on Black Lake which is south of Cheboygan and north of Onaway. Karen and I worked together many years ago at the Lansing Art Gallery and have remained pals. Curiously, we share the same birthday-how often does that happen?

I got up early and went out on the dock with coffee and a camera.




42 degrees with morning fog.



  



C and I kayaking, which I had never done before.
We saw a bald eagle-the first time either of us had seen one.


Karen and Ken had a wedding in Detroit so we had the place to ourselves for a couple of days. We went up to Cheboygan for some groceries and I noticed that we were only 15 miles from the Straits. Neither of us had seen the Mackinaw Bridge in years so away we went to Mackinaw City. Despite its given name, the sign as you enter states that it is only a village. Yep, 2010 census had only 806 souls living there but over the course of a summer, nearly 1.5 million visitors stop by. The place is packed with hotels (brief home to the Mackinaw Island daytrippers), fudge shoppes, and other touristy places. The historical park includes a light house and the reconstructed early 18th century Fort Michilimackinac, both overlooking the Mackinaw Bridge.

The Mackinaw Bridge

The Mackinaw Point lighthouse-in service 1892-1957.



Mackinaw Island

We had driven in from the east via Rogers City after visiting C's aunt and uncle in Tawas. About 11 miles west, I saw a sign for Ocqueoc Falls. Hmm, never heard of them. They seemed close to the cottage so one afternoon, C and I checked them out. Turns out they were only 12 miles from the cottage. The falls are the largest in the Lower Peninsula and are quite easy to find thanks to adequate road signs. There was, however, a ton of people, kids, dogs, babies (who brings infants to these things?). Now, the drop of the falls probably isn't more than 5 feet so kids as young as 5 or 6 were flinging themselves over the top. Both C and I noticed that unlike so many other public places where anxieties over lawsuits are acute-not so here. No notice that you jump, swim, frolic or be stupid at your own risk. Neither of us knew that the falls were so small and the river so shallow-we didn't bring swimming gear. The next morning, C's birthday celebration, C says "Let's go to the falls-it's early, maybe we will beat the crowd. It looks like rain, maybe people will stay home." She was right-just 2 couples with very small children and no one in the water. C went in while I, in my beach shoes, stayed in the river taking photos. You could get quite close to the falls-how often does one get such an opportunity?

Looking up river from the main falls. There are a series of smaller cascades both
above and below the falls.

The main falls.

Directly above looking over the edge of the right side of the falls.

The Water Girl in her element. As you can see, the water is not very deep. She had a blast body surfing. She described the experience as rejuvenating-much more than a hot tub.

Downstream looking back at the main falls.

Happy 55, sweetie!

Our friends catching the final rays of the day.

Weird happenings in the North Country

One night we were checking out the full moon when we saw a bright object flash streaking across the sky. It was big, close, low to the horizon and silent. What the hell was it?

-Meteor (fireball)- Most of the witnesses were dubious-too big and close. No arc in its flight path. Just seemed artificial. It appeared, streaked then went out.

-Failed firework rocket that didn't explode-None of us heard it launch nor did we see it fade out as it dropped.

-Space junk-This didn't occur to me until I searched online for postings from other witnesses. Turns out a huge piece of junk came down that night...in Australia.

Artist's Depiction

We're driving down US 23 between Cheboygan and Mackinaw City and I notice these odd plumes veering off the tips of the trees that border the road. I also see what appears to be an elongated funnel directly in front of me. C is conked out taking a cat nap so I just ignore it-getting on in the day. Probably just seeing some refraction through the windshield.

Well, I keep seeing them and wondered if at some lonely point in the road, all the power in the car was going to quit. Damn-no aerosol paint can in the trunk to X the spot. I check my watch and it hasn't stopped so when traffic let up, I slow and took a good look at the nearest plume. It's made up of tiny dots! These things are made up of zillions of little insects!!! C has awoken by this point and I ask her to verify. Yep, they're there. So who knows-gnats or "no-seeums"-why they were hanging around the trees like that and what explains the funnel shape over the road: It's a mystery.

Artist's Depiction

A pretty good vacation! Good friends, nice cottage, a chance to get out on the water, a birthday to celebrate, a natural water park and a couple of mysterious happenings.

Oh yes and a rainy evening, imbibing adult beverages and making up new rules for Pictionary. Good times! Many thanks to Ken and Karen for the invitation, their good company and tasty cooking.

Goodbye Mr. C

With relief, we bid a fond farewell to Mr. C. We're so glad we managed to keep him alive although I killed his tree. His owner returned from his trip home to Shanghai and reunited with Mr. C a couple of days ago. Mr. C was an odd critter-didn't interact, was uniformly stoic except occasionally opening his mouth wide and emitting a  sustained hiss. This usually occurred  when I evidently displeased him while spritzing water on his tree, which I thought was a tad ungrateful: chameleons commonly consume their water as it drips from leaves. He also behaved this way when C (no relation) opened his enclosure to shake out his daily meal of crickets. Well, just can't please you by providing the essentials of life.

He didn't do much except to sit on a couple of  bare  branches that I positioned over the tree in his enclosure. He spent most of his day basking in the UV lamp occasionally moving from one branch to the other, onto the enclosure screen, down into the tree to hunt for a cricket. That's it. Oh, he curled and uncurled his tail a lot.

You can imagine my concern one morning over coffee and the Times when out of the corner of my eye, I caught motion in his enclosure and heard a dull thud. Oh no! Dude, did you have the big one? (The pet shop reptile guru warned chameleons are prone to heart attacks especially in response to sudden movement). Of course, Mr. Stoic had nothing to say which is so different from our crew who are quite vocal about so many things. Eventually, I saw him slogging up his tree. I was puzzled-I hadn't made a sudden move. He was eating well. His color was good and bright (when ill or stressed, their color can dull). So, the next time I was buying crickets, I asked the reptile guru. "Oh, that's dropping behavior" he replied. "A bit of evolutionary development: if a chameleon has his sights on a meal or is faced with a predator, they will flee by dropping off a rock or a cliff up to 20 feet." Whoa!  "And, they will puff themselves up like an inner tube to cushion the fall."  Presumably, they probably bounce a couple of times. I wonder if there is a vid on YouTube?

His eating behavior is well-documented-the freakishly long tongue whips out, grabs dinner and retracts. C at first was not too keen on witnessing the crickets meeting their destiny. Furthermore, the sound of Mr. C eating them resembled the crunching of potato chips. Of course my response to this was to immediately bring up the ancient Lay's ad: Can't Just Eat One. Mr. C heartily agreed. Over time however, much like gawking at the aftermath of an accident, C's curiosity won out in fascination of watching the tongue at work. During her final feeding before we took him home, she thought something was wrong. He lunged at a cricket but suddenly stopped like a dog who had come to the end of his leash. Oh no, no Mr. C, don't croak on us now!!! Turns out she had closed the door on his tail after depositing supper. Sorry dude! She quickly opened the door and Mr. C, stoic as ever, moseyed up the branch and curled his tail. No harm, no foul.

So,  Mr. C-take care, good luck, it was good to know you.

Happy Solstice/Saturday Night Music

Perfect summer music: from 1962, the Drifters-Up on the Roof. Lyrics by Gerry Goffin who passed this week, music by his wife, Carole King.

2 Guys Talkin'

B-Hey, is it nice and warm in here! Friggin' freezing in the house. And this is June?

J-Yeah, we keep Mr C's room toasty. How are you feeling?

B-Better thanks. Still a bit stiff in that joint and I don't have the power I used to have to jump. Getting old I guess.

J-Well, Mom and I were pretty concerned. I'm sorry we didn't get you to the docs sooner but we didn't know. And after Molls evidently recovering from the same thing, we thought you'd be ok.

B-No worries, man. I thought it would clear up by itself too. Then I got this golf ball thing growing on my haunch and I was concerned as well.

J-So, what happened?

B-Big Black jumped me.

J-Ohhh, we wondered. Same one that nailed you in the face during the snow canyon fight?

B-Yep, same bastard.

J-He was trying to come in through the portal?

B-Actually, it started with Princess.

J-What??!! Did she get Big Black to beat you up??? That lil bit...

B-NO NO-Big Black was moving on her!!

J-Nooo, you mean....no....she's never in heat, she's been fixed...

B-It can still be an act of asserting dominance.

J-So what happened?

B-It's a nice spring night-I'm chilling on the front porch-you guys had gone to bed and up tearing across the lawn comes Princess with something big right behind her. She hits the portal in one go. Well, I was a bit startled because I was drowsing and when I am fully focused, I realized Big Black is on the bench looking into the portal. Saying all sorts of things to Princess and to The Chunk as well. Filthy stuff. I crouched and growled and he just turned and said “Oh, if it isn't Small Stuff. Want some more of what you got this winter? Yeah, I think that's a good idea” and he was on me before I knew it. Whupped me across the head with the hardest right hook I have ever had. Man, I was seeing stars and as I turned to get away, I heard him roar “I am gonna bite your ass off, boy”. I felt him chomp down on my right haunch. I think you heard me scream because the girls said later that you came out into the library. Anyway, after he bit me, he laughed, said “so long Small Stuff, I'll be getting back to your womenfolk later” and ran off.

J-What an ass!!!

B-No shit. He got me good, man and I was in a world of hurt. I was so grateful that you saw me and opened the door. I'm not sure I could have made it through the portal. The rest you know.

J-So, that's why the Calico has been decent to you: she OWES you. I take it that this means something to you guys.

B-It sure as hell does and believe me-I will remind her of it until the end of my days. Ha! It's already just killing her to be nice.

J-LOL I bet. Well, what's fair is fair. Sorry about your fur-gawd they really shaved a chunk off.

B-Whattya gonna do. Shrug. It's growing back and really, at my age-I don't give a shit. But having said that, I appreciate you not posting a pic.

J-No problem-I'm self-conscious enough for both of us, lol. You having problems at The Diner?

B-Yeah, can't jump worth a damn. Benny has been kind enough to put the bowl on the chair for me. He is a pretty decent guy.

J-Yeah he is.

J-Man, just how many fights have you been in? When they shaved you, they found a bunch of scars. You really are an old gladiator.

B-Just how it is. I don't take shit from no one but it does seem like trouble comes to me much of the time.

J-Just what is Big Black's problem?

B-Shrug-some cats are like that. I suspect he was cut late. And he is big. The big ones can either be really laid back because they know no one will mess with them or they get these oversized egos and swagger around like they still have them swinging. (eye roll) You know the type.

J-Ayup. Well, I am glad he doesn't live next door. Gawd, what a nightmare.

B-It would be. Princess would never go out and be more of a nervous wreck than she already is. The Grey-I dunno, man-I don't think she has fought much but she is one helluva killer. I think she would be one tough broad in a street fight. You know, she has been quite maternal towards me and I have quite touched by that. 

B-At any rate, it would be some tense times around here. And, I am just getting too old for this crap.

J-Sigh. I know buddy. Part of me would advise you to just run but I know that's not in your nature. Ronins do not retire.

B-Well, you are romanticizing this a bit but I appreciate the thought.

B- That reptile doesn't do much does he? You know, I have had no communication with him which is a first. I've always been able to talk to others. Not this guy.

J-I know-he is curious isn't he? I guess he prefers to keep to himself.

B-Yep. To each his own. Welp-how about a snack before I take a nap?

J-Sure, bud. We just opened a can. So how long before the Calico cracks and reverts to her old meanness?

B-Oh, any day now. It's ok. All I have to do is point back to the haunch and watch her squirm with shame. Fabulous! The gift that will never quit giving!

Boy, Are They In Trouble

One of our enduring jokes here in America concerns our meteorologists: these folks can be inaccurate a good chunk of the time and still keep their jobs. Haven't we all  watched the guy on channel 6 forecast a 20% chance of rain while it is coming down in buckets outside our window? WTF!! we mutter.

Well, our boys and girls in the polyester blazers should start counting their blessings and be thankful they aren't working in North Korea. Good forecasting there could be a matter of life or death.

According to North Korea's official newspaper Rodong Sinmun, glorious leader Kim Jong Un paid a visit to the country's meteorological institute for a chat. Or rather a rant about the poor forecasting. It seems it has finally come to his attention that his people have been starving for the past 20 years for a variety of reasons including those weather related. It also appears that he does not have his father's special powers (it was officially reported that Kim Jong Il could control the weather based on his moods*).

While he did cut the weathermen some slack by citing poor equipment (most likely 50 year old hand-me-downs from the Chinese) and outdated methodology (most likely 50 year old hand-me-downs from the Russians), Kim Jong Un by all reports was red-faced and bellowing at the ashen-faced staff to "Get It Right". The nation's security and people's well-being was dependent on accurate forecasting, he further asserted thus implying inaccuracy could theoretically be considered treasonous.

Rodong Sinmun released this photo of the incident and thanks to our contact in the NSA, we have a transcript of what was said at the time it was taken. While the caption is fictitious, it's absurd reasoning of introducing coin-flipping as a valid addition to the scientific method comes uncomfortably close to our reality of science denying politicians. Climate change?What climate change. Boy, are we in trouble.



"How hard can it be? If you say there is a 50% chance of it raining, then I should be

able to flip a coin anytime during the day and have rain half the time. I'm not asking

for much, just that you should be right. What am I paying you for? Do I have to do

everything myself??"


Photo: Rodong Sinmun-truly, I didn't make this up.



Deja-vu Thirty-Nine Years Later

1975-North Vietnamese troops enter Da Nang, South Vietnam



2014-ISIS Troops enter Mosul, Iraq

Same mistake, same outcome 39 years apart. The guys running the show in Washington just don't learn. The only good news: Vietnam cost us 58,209 lives, Iraq 4,804. I doubt in 20 years, ISIS or whatever manifestation it may be in at that point will be as inclined to be the money-making buddies with Nike as the Vietnamese were.



Top photo-Wikipedia
Bottom photo-Reuters

 



June 5, 1989

How the world remembers:

 

 

How the Chinese government would like world to remember:

 

Nothing to see here, nothing happened, move along.

  

AP Photo/Jeff Widener