Saturday, May 27, 2023

FIVE SECOND STORIES

Seen while out and about: I'm entering East Lansing and I look in my mirror and see this behind me:


Yikes! It's a Donnie Darko Evil Rabbit! In fact, when searching for an image, the helmet is marketed as The Evil Rabbit Helmet.

We were watching an old HBO series "Carnivále" from 2003 and many examples of "carneyspeak" were used. One was "gaff" which refers to a faked exhibit. Part of P.T. Barnum's genius was to present something you say is genuine but it is obvious even to a 5 year old that it is a fake. After an uproar forces management to admit their scandalous connivery, the act takes on a new life. The public, hearing that Barnum was called out on fake, clamor to pay and see "Barnum's Fake". Talk about turning lemons into lemonade!

I had not heard of this Old Wive's Tale: if you want to remove a wart, cut a potato in half and cover the wart with it. Then, under a Full Moon, secretly bury the spud and do not tell anyone where it resides.

From "Um Ourives Das Palavras" (A Goldsmith of Words) by Portuguese writer Amadeu de Prado:

“Given that we can live only a small part of what there is in us -- what happens with the rest?

I came across this in a curious film "Night Train to Lisbon" which details the adult years of de Prado. A doctor during the Salazar right wing dictatorship, he also was a writer and philosopher. This singular volume was self-published posthumously in 1975, a year after his death due to a brain aneurysm.

In the film "Night Train to Lisbon", there was a scene where the secret police engage in classic behavior during a dictatorship: Prior to a visit of someone that you wish to obtain information from, investigate their life and find out what gives them joy. In the film, the person in question was a fine amateur pianist. If they refuse to cooperate, break their hands. They'll never play again and that joy in life will be forever lost. Even if they knew nothing, this brutal action will quickly be known around town and compounds the fear people have of the police.


The uncertain outcome: med for psoriasis advertisement says: "may result in clear or almost clear skin." This has the smell of lawyers all over it and makes one wonder how well the stuff works beyond the usual boilerplate of "individual results will vary". So, what percentage of users get clear skin? 10%? 20%? Well, they won't want to broadcast this would they? 



Cocky tornado being ironic: "I'm a twig snapper, bitch"!

Alpena is a rather odd word, no less one to be used to name a town. In the US, believe it or not, besides the one in MI, there are Alpenas in AR, SD and WV. How the name came about in MI from the Alpena Tourist Board:

"The story of our current name “Alpena” actually begins shortly after Michigan became a state in 1837. Mr. Douglas Houghton was assigned the task of surveying the northern part of the state and establishing county and township lines. In 1840, after Houghton’s task was completed, Henry Schoolcraft, then a Native American agent in Sault St. Marie, selected an Indian name for each county. However, an analysis of these county names show that in many  instances “improvised” would have been a better word than “selected”.

Alpena County was first dubbed “An-a-ma-kee”, (Thunder), in honor of the Thunder Bay Chippewa chief who had signed a treaty negotiated by Schoolcraft in 1826. After studying the Indian legends around the words “An-a-ma-kee” and “An-i-mi-kee”, Schoolcraft concluded that the name was not completely appropriate. He manufactured the name “Alpena” from “Al”, a Native American syllable meaning “the”, and then created “pena” from either the Arabic word meaning “partridge”, or an old French word “peanaisse”, meaning “bird”.

Local historians have since discovered that the rendering should have been “Awpena” to mean “partridge”. As Alpena is now spelled, it means “not quite a partridge”."

As for the other Alpenas name origin:

West Virginia-Alpena as a name is a corruption of Alpine, a large share of the first settlers being natives of Switzerland.

Arkansas-Originally known as "Estes" and later "Alpena Pass", the town of Alpena sits near Long Creek at the eastern border of Carroll County.  It is said to have been named for the mountainous "alpine" terrain in that vicinity.

South Dakota-Alpena was platted in 1883, and most likely was named after Alpena, Michigan, the native home of the town's proprietor. 

Sometimes, Buddy eats all the kibble in the feeding bowl but gravity doesn't push more out. C's new saying to him: "lemme paw y'all down some grub there Buddy."

Going to the market represents my main source of human interaction. After spending the majority of my working years in retail, I instinctively pick up a vibe walking into a store. Here's my thoughts on the markets in the area:

Corporate: WalMart, Kroger, Meijer, Target. Gigantic stores filled with mainly dull-eyed workers working for somewhat better than average pay and benefits but the conditions suck. Not enough bodies to do the work and asshole management right up the chain of command. CEOs make obscene salaries.

Woke Corporate: Whole Foods, Trader Joes. For years, these two have promoted their progressive cred as being worker friendly. But now, one wonders how their workers feel about them now that they have revealed themselves to be just another bunch of garden-variety, union-busting assholes. You can add Starbucks to this list even though it isn't a market. Having said this, folks seem friendly enough.  

Semi-corporate but laid-back: Fresh Thyme, Foods for Living. People I've encountered are relaxed and friendly. 

Family: Westlund's Apple Market, Horrocks. Folks I've encountered at Apple's are relaxed and friendly. Very much a neighborhood store. Horrocks-being family-owned has worked for them. They consistently are inventive in making the market a destination stop between the vast array of food, drink, bakery, deli and garden supply for sale. It says a lot about an operation when you see the cadre of workers who have been there 10+ years. They are still successful despite the persistent issue of lack of people to hire that continues to plague the service industry.

Awful Family: Better Health. The worst retail operation I have ever seen. Worker's nickname for the store: Better Hell. A shit-show from top to bottom with poor pay, incompetent home office management with crazier than usual retail customers.

Progressive hybrids: Eastside Lansing Food Co-op, Campbell's Market Basket. Neighborhood markets offering fresh veggies and fruit, baked goods, limited grocery. EFLCO, being located in the Allen Place complex, offers a number of community services and partnerships with the business incubator also in the complex.

                                   

 

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