YAHWEH HAS REGRETS

 

 

One day, after devouring a delicious burrito at a Santa Fe cafe, Yahweh was feeling contemplative. Every once and a while, he would take corporeal form and drop in on a long running experiment: the planet Earth and the human race. Gazing at the Sangre de Cristo mountains from his seat on a covered veranda, sipping on a mezcel, he thought about what he created. A damn beautiful mess, he thought. And these creatures-Jesus H. Christ, they have such a looonnngggg learning curve!!  Same old crap millennia in, millennia out. What is with these people? Yeah, the free will thing. Maybe. They need some shaking up but he sighed at this thought. I can't be stepping in every time something goes wrong. How else do they learn and grow? I created Jesus with the thought  that the path for civilized life was through love. That has had mixed results. I missed my opportunity back during their last and bloodiest century. Millions perished praying for my intercession and I gave them nothing. Certainly it was worth a burning bush and a booming voice saying "knock it off or I will wipe your kind out of existence".  He had done nothing and the propensity for creating suffering at which humans excelled continued unabated. He felt shame, sorrow and regret, inwardly shaking his head at his failures. Finally, realizing that these feelings stemming from being corporeal and imbibing alcohol, Yahweh finished his drink and left money for the bill and a very nice tip. Heading back into omnipotentness, he looked back on the blue planet shining in the darkness and promised himself he would make things right.