FIVE SECOND STORIES

 DINER NEWS

The January thaw is upon us and for the first time in what seems like weeks, the Big Light in Sky (BLS) is gracing us with what meteorologists term "bright overcast". For days, we have had a dreary mix of heavy fog, on and off rain with temps in the 30's. Between the snowmelt and 1.5" of rain over four days, we have a pond in the back 40.

I noticed a few days ago that no birds were stopping by-it was strictly squirrels including Nutkin.

I discovered that this guy turned out to be a bully, chasing the much larger squirrels away from the Diner. I asked Stubbs what this was about and he replied small squirrel syndrome.

As for the decline in bird customers, I suspected the seed in the feeder had gone off. The bottom third went from being frozen to thawing into a seedy goop. I dumped everything on the ground, cleaned and filled it back up with fresh seed. By the afternoon, the regulars had returned led by the chickadees, sparrows and purple finches. 

Several evenings ago, we finished watching a film and were going through our heading to bed routine when I returned to the darkened room and saw a big Doe at the Diner. She was eating with her front legs splayed like a giraffe. She caught a glimpse of my movement and skedaddled. Shortly afterward, I saw three does on the berm moving West to East back to their woods. 

We had cleaned out the frig and arranged a buffet including some arugula, hoping the buns would enjoy some fresh greens. Nope. It continues to confound C that historically, the wild buns will not imbibe humangrown produce. We wonder if this aversion points to their Better Living & Survival Guide which clearly warns about being tempted by something new. Stick with what you know! 

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The algorithms have figured out that I am an old boy so my YT feed is packed with Medicare ads. Generally they are bland until this one appeared. Well! Nothing like some blatant, old school sex sells advertising. I wonder if this would cause Speaker Johnson's pornwarn app on his phone to ping.

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 Speaking of S*E*X...

New Guinea is home to 38 of 43 known species of bird of paradise. Each has evolved their own idiosyncratic performance to attract the girls. It's like some giant collection of Broadway actors trying to outdo each other on the stage: some are dancers, some are singers others combine into song and dance routines. 

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This is what I'm talkin' about! From 1989, The Beastie Boys "Hey Ladies".

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Fun fact: during the moose rutting season, males will use their antlers to scent areas hoping to attract females and ward off suitors. It is also thought that this adds adornment to their rack-females judge worthy mates by their size (yeah, sorry fellows-size matters in this culture). If you want an edge over the other schmucks, well, spice up your rack with some grasses. Some like the shaggy, bad boy look with grass hanging over their eyes. Others prefer a more curated look: a few strategic weeds hanging off one antler, like a single earring. 

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Totally gonzo vid from Muppet's Swedish Chef making popcorn shrimp and microwaving popcorn resulting in total chaos.

"Popcorn" is a synthesized instrumental written and originally recorded by Gershon Kingsley in 1968. A 1972 cover version by Stan Free, recording under the name Hot Butter, was a Top 10 hit in the United States and Europe. 

Warning: earworm alert!

I remember, unfortunately, this song which caused a near involuntary and immediate urge to change the radio station. Gawd.