Bin's Crazy Ape Tales

Hello there! Well, it's a crazy ole world especially anything where apes are involved. The rest of the species are sick to death of hearing about your thumbs and going to the Moon etc etc. Meanwhile, you regard the entire planet as a toilet and this is killing an alarming number of the rest of us as a result. You fucking bastards. But, you do weird stuff that is worth noting and having a bit of a chuckle (my less tolerant friends say "Well, this is like slapping your knee and guffawing at the zany antics of SS guards at Auschwitz. What a bunch of jokers! Point taken, brothers). Still, apes are entertaining and Jeff and I want to share stuff we come across and just shake our heads and say "Man, weird or that's fucked up". Just a note: the F-bomb often is liberally employed--sometimes, nothing else is as appropriate or precise. Immediately stop whining, will you--if it bothers you, go away to your safe place.

Mike Pence's Mackinaw Adventure

Evidently, Pence was so fearful that enraged late season peasants might hurl molten vats of fudge at him that he decided to violate a 121 year old tradition and transport via motorcade on his recent visit to Mackinaw Island. Yep, the Secret Service had 8 (yes, eight) black SUVs ferried over to pick The Anointed One at the helipad and drive him to the annual Republican suckfest at the Grand Hotel. The only other # 1 or #2 (perfect scatological designation for Mikey)to visit while in office was Gerald Ford, who chose to go by horse-drawn carriage. Oh, such  different times! What got our attention was  leading the motorcade were Michigan State Police on bicycles! (see photo above) Someone on the State level decided to make a statement here (which we applaud). A very curious (and Pythonish) juxtaposition.

 

You don't see this every day in Lansing.

Jeff spotted this WTF Thing while out and about: a 36 foot tall wooden statue of Nebuchadnezzar. Which cult has this, I asked? 7th Day Adventists. Here is a quote from their website:

"Nebuchadnezzar, ancient king of Babylon, had a dream that changed his life and is changing the lives of people still today. He saw the future as only God can reveal it. This prophecy is increasingly relevant for our time, showing where we are and how to prepare for the future, It accurately foretells the contour of world empires, giving reasons to believe the promises of God's Word. The story of Daniel 2 is history from 6th century BC you cannot afford to be ignorant of". 

Hmm, this is why ape species ain't making any progress when you have wackados hollering that you're ignorant if you don't pay attention (no less believe) stuff allegedly said by some king 2600 years ago. How do you know this wasn't spun back then-ole' Neb wasn't having bad dreams because his mind was troubled (that's from Daniel 2 for those who keep up with things biblical), he was in the grips of a bad case of the clap, administered by a member of his concubine. Well, the grey men (Britspeak for palace bureaucrats) couldn't have that come out so they spun it. And now, knuckleheads in modern times take every single word as literal truth and trot this nonsense out. Why do you folks have to continue to endure this stuff from people who keep looking backward. I mean, really backward. 2600 years of backward. Like those were the good old days?