Two Guys Talkin'

B-Happy Birthday old man!

J-Thanks dude-Oi-seems like we were just here.

B-Yeah, that's how it works-time picks up velocity towards...well, you know-I don't want to get morbid here.

J-No worries, man. So what's happenin'?

B-Not much-sleep, eat, patrol-pester Mom for attention. Avoid being slugged.

J-Yep-summer's winding down. Pool time is over. Crappy tomato year. Grass is growing like it's May and the skeeters are bad.

B-Yeah they are. Bastards bug me around the ears. Too bad-full moon tonight, can't go out and enjoy it without being chewed up.

J-Well, maybe we'll take a quick look-see.

B-Oh you mean a “mark your territory break”? I'd really like to be around when you explain those red splotchy bumps on your manhood to Mom.

J-You really have a deviant mind, pal. Geez.

B-Just saying.

J-Really? and you don't remember all the times I've warned you about your claws during lap time? Yeah, I look forward to explaining those puncture wounds in the ER.

B-I can't help it-it's nice a warm down there and I relax. Takes effort to keep the claws sheathed. I don't understand what you are whining about-Mom doesn't have this problem.

J-BECAUSE MOM DOESN'T HAVE THE SAME PARTS!

B-Stop shouting you big baby. You're sounding like that idiot you apes are close to choosing as a leader.

J-Not even close, mofo.

B-Well, I'll give you that-you are not a psychopathic liar. He reminds me of this minor prince in Bavaria back in the day. Really makes one consider the downside of reincarnation. This guy was a piece of work. And some of those cardinals at the Vatican-Oi Vey! They make the Beltway spinmeisters look like a bunch of 2^nd graders when it came to obfuscating the word of the Lord to advance the control and the coffers of the Church. You sad poor apes-in exchange for the big brains and opposable thumbs-you are doomed to make the same mistakes over and over and over.

J-What's the word from the League on all this? You still have your contacts?

B-It's been pretty quiet although word around the watering hole is that they have held special meetings and committees have been set up to act if the elections goes south. Mind you-not that they find the man terribly objectionable-it's about setting into motion a series of attacks that will overwhelm his feeble abilities. It's risky because a joke making the rounds is that this knucklehead will actually use a nuke to kill a mosquito, lol.

J-That's not really funny, man.

B-Shrug-sign of the times. Zika is producing mixed results-definitely a dud as far as the Olympics and in terms of population control-seems to be more a terrorist/psychological effect than actually doing what was hoped. I dunno-might be a controlled experiment to test the reactions of the governments. Certainly seeing Congress hold up funding for months was encouraging. I just worry that they have something brewing with the viruses and we are entering the flu season.

J-Sigh. Any good news?

B-Well your feet hit the floor this morning.

J-Yeah. All the rest is crap.

B-You bet! Hey, this is for you.

J-What's this? Hmmm...not very heavy, shape looks familiar....

M-Hello boys-Joyeux anniversaire, mon cher.

J-Thanks, Molls!

B-Good evening, Madame.

T-Open your present! Open your present!

B-(oh gawd)

J-Hey Tomi! Well, the gang is all here. Let's take a look...why it's chocolate.

T-Yay!! Oui!!

B-(that girl is always trippin')

J-Thanks all-thank you for not bringing me something dead and how did you get a hold of the choc?

B-Let's just say it mysteriously vanished from the counter one day.

J-Where did you hide it?

M-Under the loveseat. You haven't vacuumed under there for a while so we gambled it would be safe there.

B-Madame!

M-Shrug-tis the truth-he asked. All sorts of goodies under there.

J-Well, what's a birthday without some public shaming.

T-Madame's in trouble!

M-(eyes narrowing) you are this close to getting the back of my paw, girlie.

J-And what's a birthday without a family fight-c'mon you two. I'm intrigued to find out how you managed to wrap it. I mean, I can figure how you pulled the paper towel out of the trash but how it is stuck together. Odd-what's this weird stain?

B-Uhhh, you really don't want to know. Say-how about a snack?

J-There's bits of grass stuck in there...

B-C'mon-I'm peckish-chop, chop.

J-(wtf dude, this isn't what I think it is)

B-(I'll tell you later) Come on now ladies...

T-Extra helping for me, Daddy?

B-Oh just steal it from Molls like you always do, piglet.

M-I just let her steal it-I'm on a diet!

B-Well, happy birthday, man. I'll be in later and we can dip into some drink and nip.

J-Ok-thanks everyone!

B,M,T-YOU'RE WELCOME!

Later...

J-Seriously, dude-cat puke as a glue?

B-Works well don't you think?

J-Gaack

B-Oh, come on now-it's wrapped in foil and paper.Do you think we can manage scotch tape?

J-I think I'll regift it back to Mom. (long pull on drambuie) She's been having quite a sweet tooth.

B-Nice! You're all heart! Damn, that's good nip! (flops on side on the desk)

J-Moon's up.

B-Yep-good sign-full moon on your birth day.

J-Feline mythology?

B-Good full year ahead.

J-Sounds good to me.