Two Guys Talkin'

B-Hey man, what's shakin'?
J-Dude! Not much-happy early equinox!
B-You too! When is it-12.30am tomorrow?
J-Yep.
B-Good to see the white crap gone, croak-asses in bloom, lawns greening up. Ahhh. Little nippy out there today-but it is nice to be able to get out.
J-Yeah it is but beats the zero degree stuff. 
B-I hear ya-so what's cooking?
J-Pizza from scratch.
B-Oh, damn that sauce smells good. A morsel later on?
J-Sigh, you would just lick it and I'm not sure about you guys and tomatoes.
B-That's dogs who get sick. Go figure with the shit-eaters.
J-Still, you wouldn't eat it. How about a bit of pepperoni?
B-You bet! 
J-Ok-just between you and me. Mom probably wouldn't approve. Fatty, spicy etc.
B-This from the woman who eats chile-laced chocolate all the time?
J-Just saying.
B-So, the extent of my thoughts on the elections: WTF.
J-I know, man-it's gonna be a wild ride. 
B-I've seen narcissists like this before. Dangerous.
J-Yes, destructive.
B-Yep. I'm wary of Hillary-there is something darkly Shakespearean about a woman who is willing to endure the humiliation of an unfaithful mate in order to gain power. 
J-Well, I am concerned about whether we'll have a government that gets anything done. They hated Obama and obstructed. Hell, they have hated Hillary for 20 years. How are things going to improve?
B-Not good. Sadly, if things explode, the experts and the pundits and the think-tankers will murmer in astonishment-"where did this come from"? The ruling elite is simply clueless.
J-But-hoi poloi continues to stupidly go zombie when they hear the dog whistles and vote the elite into power. Dumb asses-you sowed your own seed of destruction.
B-Sigh-as they always have done. You look like you need a refill.
J-Yeah, brb.
B-Well, let's put something on the spinner-hmm...Allman Bros at the Fillmore 1971-sounds tasty. My bud needs some chilling out.
J-Back-yeah, man-good choice. 
B-(nose in glass) what do we have here?
J-Chianti and snout out. I saw Mean White the other day with the Screamer who was out falling out of her roller blades. How is MW?
B-I haven't seen much of him-maybe The Stupids have been taking care of him for once. 
J-Glad to see you haven't been brawling. You're too old for that.
B-Shrug-no one around messing with my territory. I don't go around picking fights, man. But some son-of-a-bitch crosses the line, I am going to remind him of his transgression. That is how things work.
J-Sounding apelike there, buddy.
B-Well, we ALL protect our "sphere of influence" to borrow an ape term. But, it's another thing to go stomping around in anothers backyard. That tends to piss folks off.   
J-Indeed it does. 
B-Man, we need a spliff.
J-Yeah, but I'm job hunting and lots of places drug test. Of course, never mind the drunks in management who work there...Wait a minute-since when did you start partaking?
B-Me? Oh, I never inhale-I get a contact buzz.
J-Oh please, don't give me that Bill Clinton bullshit.
B-Heh, heh. Really, man-I just feel the good vibe. And get some good scritches as well. You know how tactile you get when you have a good buzz.
J-True that!
B-They really need to legalize the stuff-chill people out. Relax about the differences in folk and just be cool with it all. Life is short. Enjoy, you idiots.
J-Right on, brother. Oh, "Stormy Monday"-let's crank it up and get a snack.
B-Ok, man. Fire up the fireplace?
J-Sure. Chianti and the blues by the fire with snacks on a Saturday afternoon with a good bud. Doesn't get better than this. I'll grab Mom away from her grading.
B-Laptime!!