Two Guys Talkin'

B-Well, fancy-smancy header. Hey, that's not me!

J-It's your own fault-I tried to take a picture of you but Mr. Squirmypants wouldn't sit still.

B-Did you ask? Had you asked I might have considered it.

J-Look, I didn't have a bunch of time for Senor Suave to decide which was his best side, whether he should be combed first, oh and of course, was it interrupting naptime.

B-Aren't you a bowl of angst. That really is a problem with you apes. Always in a hurry.

J-You're right, if all I had to worry about was eating and sleeping I wouldn't be in a hurry. Of course, no pate would be magically appearing in the cupboard. No siree bob. Nada.

B-We try and try and teach you guys how to hunt but all you do is scream and yell and runaround like crazy apes whenever we bring in something for you to practice with. Pretty ungrateful.

J-Here's a box of Kleenex. We don't need to hunt, that's why we have stores and we don't we certainly don't eat shrews, mice, chippers, small birds. You know Mom doesn't eat meat.

B-You just don't want to develop a taste for these things. If your stores went away, I guarantee you would be whipping up a casserole with them in no time.

J-Whateva. Do you like the header or not?

B-It's fine-are we radioactive?

J-Oh for crying out loud-are you purposely being obtuse?

B-What? I'm just asking.

J-Sigh, it's the glow from the laptop, you know, I'm typing as we chat.

B-Ooohhhhhhhhh, clever lad.

J-Really? You didn't figure this out?

B-(chuckle) Just messin' with you, man. You are tense.

J-Sorry.

B-Is Mom going to be ok?

J-What do you mean ok?

B-I can read remember? The papers on the library desk from the hospital?

J-Yeah, I think she will be ok.

B-We all knew. She smelled different.

J-She smelled different?

B-Yes, the cancer changes her scent.

J-You're kidding.

B-Nope. Molls caught on first. You know how needy she is with the laptime.

J-How is everyone taking it?

B-Well, with you not working, we all freaked at first. Who would buy the pate? But, things have settled down. You guys don't seem too upset so we figured it was going to be ok.

J-I'm glad everyone is ok with this and yeah, it's been caught early and the doctors have high confidence. Her reaction surprised me but then it made sense when she explained that compared with going blind, this was a lot less scary.

B-Yes, the girls told me about that v strange stuff with the eyes. So, the op is this week.

J-Yep, Wednesday then the radiation therapy. I wonder how that will change her scent.

B-No idea-I have had no experience with it.

J-Really? After all the humans you have been with-no radiation therapy? No cancer?

B-Cancer yes. But that was a long time ago before the technology was developed. People just died of it. They died of a lot of things they don't die of now.

J-Have you been feeling ok? I've been worried about that growth on your back.

B-Naaa. I'm good. Not to worry, ok? (headbutt)

B-So, the winter holidays again. Glad to see that early snow and cold has gone away. That was nutty. I thought, oh man, not another year like last year.

J-Oh, I hear ya-I thought the same. Yeah, it's going to be a bit more quiet this year. Mom will be taking it easy and healing up. We don't have a lot of cash but we won't be going without some celebration.

B-Well, we have been enjoying the fires. Your Calico girl is v happy when things warm up. The Loaf-not so much with her fat and fur.

J-She's not fat, she is just big boned.

B-Sure. Right. And we're eating the expensive low carb kibble that you're whining about because....

J-Hey, the vet said everyone was getting a little pudgy.

B-Gawd, don't let the Calico hear that. She's nutty enough already without developing a obsession over a couple of ozs.

J-Well, Mom will be fine. You guys need to cut her some slack over the next couple of weeks and not be so needy.

B-Sure. But I'm feeling a bit needy right now. A tad peckish, indeed.

J-I just fed you. You have a hollow tail or what?

B-I'll leave you alone. No hollering and banging at your door.

J-Sigh, blackmailed by a cat. C'mon.

B-You're the best! Oh and BTW, congrats to all you apes for putting some mechanical thing on another, uninhabitable chunk of rock. Another monumental achievement for your species!

J-Thanks now here's your Mariner's catch, wiseass.

B-Just sayin' LOL,