Two Guys Talkin'

B-Hoowhee, it's nasty out there!

J-You're the one who wanted to go out-hey-dude, DUDE-go shake yourself off by the fireplace will you? Geez.

J-All's well on the perimeter? Not a creature stirring...?

B-Not really. Aww man, that fire feels good.

J-Run into anyone we know? Snowing
 

B-Yeah, saw Mean White. I was convivial, he was not, the old sour puss. It is snowing but it's mixed with rain and there's a lot of wind. Filthy night.

B-Is everyone asleep?

J-Yep.

B-Mom ok?

J-Mom's gonna be ok.

B-We're worried.

J-I know, buddy. (scritching an ear). Been one helluva year.

B-Next year will be better.

J-I hope so. I'm tired Bin. Tired.

B-It's gonna be fine. You'll find work.

J-I got to deal with people and I am tired of dealing with people and all the dysfunction.

B-There will always be dysfunction-in varying degrees. You just have to work past it. It's how you apes are.

J-Yeah, I know.

B-Maybe you will be surprised. You cannot rule out the chance. Otherwise, you won't get out of bed. And you still are getting out of bed everyday.

J-I have things that need to be done.

B-This is just another. And, not to sound too Obiwan, it will be what you make of it.

J-Yeah.

B-Good supper tonight. Thanks for the bits. Mmmm cow.

J-It turned out-I was pretty happy and of course, so was Mom. She is very easy to please. I am so lucky.

B-We all are. She's the best!

B-It will be a good New Year. You'll get a cool job, Mom will have new boobs. It's all gravy!

J-Wow.

B-C'mon now, it's all good! Have been getting enough ketsup? Has the shrink mentioned anti-depressants? A bit less of the vino might be helpful-it's a depressant you know.

J-Are you looking for a billable hour here? Double time because it's Christmas Eve? Sheesh, dude.

B-Just sayin'. Hey, there's a package for you on top of the stocking.

J-And here is one for you-thank you.

B-Oh yummers-it's fishy, I can smell it through the wrap. Oh, oh so good.

J-Mmmm as are the Mozarts.

B-How's that sherry (despite what I just said)

J-Tasty. And, no offense taken. I need to address it.

B-A bit of confidence and you will be just fine. I heard you hollered at the radio station, you old crackpot, lol.

J-Well, it's just annoying, these “Jesus is the reason for the season” people. Hello! It's Chanukah too! Not to mention the very old practices that the Christians ripped off. And to state it in a public broadcast without at least putting it into a form of expressing a personal belief...just too ignorant and too blatant to not address.

B-Well, I wonder if the station manager had a word with the lad?

J-Sigh, I hope so and I hope it didn't cost him his job although I suspect he is one of the volunteer hosts. Nevertheless, he needs to be mindful of his audience.

B-I'm sure you will be written off as a Social Justice Warrior.

J-Probably. Shrug-F'em. The religious folk are getting on my nerves. Oh, god is great so I will explode myself in the market.

B-Now that is quite a leap from some immature kid running his mouth on the radio.

J-There's only a few steps between them on a very slippery slope, man.

B-Ok, Ok.

B-Put another log on, will you?

J-Sure. I'll be right back with a refill.

B-Ahhh (stretching on his side) How did the kolache turn out?

J-Not too shabby considering the amount of changes to the recipe. Could be better though.

B-You're funny, always want things to be better. That causes you to suffer but I guess that's just an apetrait.

I read your blog-your mother is in a bad way, eh?

J-Yeah, it's just sad, she had such a good mind. I miss talking to her-to Dad as well.

B-Well, you know we don't have relationships with our fathers and only a short one with our Mums. But we do bond so I have some understanding of your sorrow. If we are taken too soon from Mum, we tend to have this need to relive our kittenhood. Look at the Grey Meat Loaf and her needy behavior with Mom.

Strange brew, that one. She can be so cranky and judgmental, lording over the Calico and me that she is a Queen but then revert to a kneading, mewing kitten requiring a bunch of lap time. Oi.

J-Well, we all are what we are.

B-Yep. (yawning) Oh, it's time for a long winter's nap. You staying up?

J-Yeah for a bit-boy it's really coming down. Hey, what's that?

B-(ears moving forward) on the roof?

J-Yeah. I hear bells too.

B-I thought I heard them awhile ago across the street but just figured something had carried on the wind.

J-Shhh! Footsteps? No, it can't be.

B-(whispering) Yesssssssssssss. You better scoot. Did you leave a snack for him?

J-(whispering) Yeah, kolache and a snort of sherry.

B-Good man!  Go on, now.

J-Ok, Happy Christmas, buddy. Give my regards to the old gent. And tell me all about it in the morning.

B-J...

J-Yeah

B-You've been a good lad. Wishes come true to those who deserve. And he delivers. Happy Christmas.

The Darkest Night of the Year

Happy Solstice all! Let us lift a glass by the fireside and toast the return of the Sun!

 

 

From 1969, by Sunforest featured on A Clockwork Orange soundtrack,

 "Overture to the Sun". 

 

 

 From Richard Thompson and friends in a taxi, a cover of a song from the 1611 hit parade "Remember, O Thou Man" by Thomas Ravencroft. Typically dour of those times, Ravencroft is just a sunny ball of finger wagging, admonishing all wretched sinners to repent. Happy Holidays all! Thompson and crew wisely lighten the atmosphere by segueing into a wonderful and hilarious juxtapose: Fats Waller's "My Very Good Friend the Milkman".

 

 

 

C with a reindeer at the downtown East Lansing Winterglow.

 

Making Kolache 

 

My mother was a very good cook and she especially shone during the Winter holidays. One particular thing we looked forward to was the kolache, a Slovak pastry that she learned to make from Dad's mother. It is a buttery, sweet dough with a nut filling. I attempted with mixed results to make a vegan version. Vegan baking can be a challenge and one thing you must reconcile is that whatever recipe you adapt will taste different. Nothing tastes like butter except butter regardless of what marketing tells you. For the dough, I replaced the butter with Earth Balance vegan butter and the cream cheese with marzipan. For the nut filling, C is allergic to walnuts so I went with hazelnuts. Instead of egg white as a binder, I used ground flaxseeds. The dough, which is refrigerated overnight was a nightmare and very hard to deal with. In the end, the kolache were quite large but tasty. The almond/hazelnut flavors co-existed nicely and while the dough was not as flaky, it had a nice tooth. I expect these kolache will be as good as their original version with the morning coffee. Yum.

 



 

One of my favorite pictures of my mother, Bette, taken in the garden Fall 1973 wearing her "Sopwith Camel" coat. As she approaches her 90th year, her mind has been lost to the ravages of Alzheimer's and dementia. While C gently asserts that she is not suffering, it's hard not to believe that some part of her realizes the nature of her being and I find this grievous beyond words. From the poet Billy Collins, an elegant articulation of such a state although for my mother, I am afraid she is very much past "Forgetfulness".

 

The name of the author is the first to go
followed obediently by the title, the plot,
the heartbreaking conclusion, the entire novel
which suddenly becomes one you have never read,
never even heard of,

as if, one by one, the memories you used to harbor
decided to retire to the southern hemisphere of the brain,
to a little fishing village where there are no phones.

Long ago you kissed the names of the nine Muses goodbye
and watched the quadratic equation pack its bag,
and even now as you memorize the order of the planets,

something else is slipping away, a state flower perhaps,
the address of an uncle, the capital of Paraguay.

Whatever it is you are struggling to remember,
it is not poised on the tip of your tongue,
not even lurking in some obscure corner of your spleen.

It has floated away down a dark mythological river
whose name begins with an L as far as you can recall,
well on your own way to oblivion where you will join those
who have even forgotten how to swim and how to ride a bicycle.

No wonder you rise in the middle of the night
to look up the date of a famous battle in a book on war.
No wonder the moon in the window seems to have drifted
out of a love poem that you used to know by heart.

 

Ut quiescat, primum venire.

 





Two Guys Talkin'

B-Well, fancy-smancy header. Hey, that's not me!

J-It's your own fault-I tried to take a picture of you but Mr. Squirmypants wouldn't sit still.

B-Did you ask? Had you asked I might have considered it.

J-Look, I didn't have a bunch of time for Senor Suave to decide which was his best side, whether he should be combed first, oh and of course, was it interrupting naptime.

B-Aren't you a bowl of angst. That really is a problem with you apes. Always in a hurry.

J-You're right, if all I had to worry about was eating and sleeping I wouldn't be in a hurry. Of course, no pate would be magically appearing in the cupboard. No siree bob. Nada.

B-We try and try and teach you guys how to hunt but all you do is scream and yell and runaround like crazy apes whenever we bring in something for you to practice with. Pretty ungrateful.

J-Here's a box of Kleenex. We don't need to hunt, that's why we have stores and we don't we certainly don't eat shrews, mice, chippers, small birds. You know Mom doesn't eat meat.

B-You just don't want to develop a taste for these things. If your stores went away, I guarantee you would be whipping up a casserole with them in no time.

J-Whateva. Do you like the header or not?

B-It's fine-are we radioactive?

J-Oh for crying out loud-are you purposely being obtuse?

B-What? I'm just asking.

J-Sigh, it's the glow from the laptop, you know, I'm typing as we chat.

B-Ooohhhhhhhhh, clever lad.

J-Really? You didn't figure this out?

B-(chuckle) Just messin' with you, man. You are tense.

J-Sorry.

B-Is Mom going to be ok?

J-What do you mean ok?

B-I can read remember? The papers on the library desk from the hospital?

J-Yeah, I think she will be ok.

B-We all knew. She smelled different.

J-She smelled different?

B-Yes, the cancer changes her scent.

J-You're kidding.

B-Nope. Molls caught on first. You know how needy she is with the laptime.

J-How is everyone taking it?

B-Well, with you not working, we all freaked at first. Who would buy the pate? But, things have settled down. You guys don't seem too upset so we figured it was going to be ok.

J-I'm glad everyone is ok with this and yeah, it's been caught early and the doctors have high confidence. Her reaction surprised me but then it made sense when she explained that compared with going blind, this was a lot less scary.

B-Yes, the girls told me about that v strange stuff with the eyes. So, the op is this week.

J-Yep, Wednesday then the radiation therapy. I wonder how that will change her scent.

B-No idea-I have had no experience with it.

J-Really? After all the humans you have been with-no radiation therapy? No cancer?

B-Cancer yes. But that was a long time ago before the technology was developed. People just died of it. They died of a lot of things they don't die of now.

J-Have you been feeling ok? I've been worried about that growth on your back.

B-Naaa. I'm good. Not to worry, ok? (headbutt)

B-So, the winter holidays again. Glad to see that early snow and cold has gone away. That was nutty. I thought, oh man, not another year like last year.

J-Oh, I hear ya-I thought the same. Yeah, it's going to be a bit more quiet this year. Mom will be taking it easy and healing up. We don't have a lot of cash but we won't be going without some celebration.

B-Well, we have been enjoying the fires. Your Calico girl is v happy when things warm up. The Loaf-not so much with her fat and fur.

J-She's not fat, she is just big boned.

B-Sure. Right. And we're eating the expensive low carb kibble that you're whining about because....

J-Hey, the vet said everyone was getting a little pudgy.

B-Gawd, don't let the Calico hear that. She's nutty enough already without developing a obsession over a couple of ozs.

J-Well, Mom will be fine. You guys need to cut her some slack over the next couple of weeks and not be so needy.

B-Sure. But I'm feeling a bit needy right now. A tad peckish, indeed.

J-I just fed you. You have a hollow tail or what?

B-I'll leave you alone. No hollering and banging at your door.

J-Sigh, blackmailed by a cat. C'mon.

B-You're the best! Oh and BTW, congrats to all you apes for putting some mechanical thing on another, uninhabitable chunk of rock. Another monumental achievement for your species!

J-Thanks now here's your Mariner's catch, wiseass.

B-Just sayin' LOL,