Saturday, April 13, 2013

Mo' Movies Review: Ted


This first feature film by Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane offers little deviation from his usual schtick: 8th grade level raunchy and crude gags, fart jokes, ridiculous people and situations, and a serious penchant for creating heretofore innocents into foul mouthed, selfish creatures who revel in drugs, booze and hookers. In Family Guy, it was baby Stewie-here, it is a teddy bear aptly named Ted.

The Fable: 6 year old freak kid with no friends wishes upon a falling star for a lifelong pal and viola! the universe grants his wish in the form of a talking and sentient teddy bear. Ted, whose accent channels Cheer's Cliff the mailman, becomes an overnight sensation when revealed to the world. But true to the 15 minute rule of celebrity, he fades into obscurity. Flash forward-the kid is 35 years old (Mark Wahlberg), works a loser job at a car rental place and basically spends most of his time getting high and drunk, watching kid stuff on TV with Ted. His ever suffering (but hot) girlfriend (Mila Kunis) reaches the end of her rope with a boyfriend whose best buddy in the whole wide world is a talking teddy bear.

Standard, predictable story line here: boy has girl, loses her multiple times, yet defying logic wins her back. Ahh, the power of love and pretty dumb people. McFarlane pretty much reruns his Family Guy stuff here and exhibits his ability to both have awfully poor taste jokes (a pile of crap left on the floor by a hooker) and sharply hilarious (how Boston girl’s orgasm sounds).

Yet, McFarlane keeps it marketable. As gross as he is, he doesn't turn off his target audience of 15-34 year old males. I mean, if he really wanted to push the envelope, he could have had the girlfriend trying to compete with a Ted who gave blowjobs. She'd no longer be needed if you follow the logic of the gag. What a situation! But, that would seriously freak out his ever homo-phobic demographic wouldn't it? Coward!

In the end, this is another installment of the man child franchise Hollywood has been churning out for the past 15 years. In true tradition of the industry, beat something to death while you can still make money at it. But if movies reflect culture, what does this genre say about how men are viewed in America? Your choices according to Hollywood:
-Loser, terminally immature fools who can't figure out the simplest relationship with women
-Giant walking assholes with money who treat women solely as sex objects
-Cripplingly self-absorbed men who cannot relate to another human being no less have a relationship with one
-Extremely violent and psychopathic men who abuse women in a multitude of ways
-Gay 

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