Another Day, Another Threat

It’s not easy being a young dictator following in your family’s footsteps. You try to keep up with their traditions and threaten the world on a regular basis but it’s sooo hard to come up new ideas. You want respect! But how can you have it if you trot out some retreads of your father’s? How lame.

Well, the solution is the Kim Jong Un's Threat-A-Day calendar! For just $19.99, you don’t have to think at all! Our well-beaten staff has worked very hard to come up with creative, controversial and particularly bellicose threats for you to have at your finger tips! Just think, you can get up in the morning and with your morning tea, flip over the sheet on the calendar and viola! A new threat that surely will piss off the Americans and frighten the bejesus out of the Japanese and those traitorous dogs to the south. Fabulous! Call up the Ministry of Information with your threat, sign a few execution orders and you can settle in to a leisurely morning of masturbating to internet porn.

Our writers have so cleverly worded the threats, that a mere change of a couple of words and nations, the user can adapt the Threat-A-Day calendar to most any circumstance, anywhere in the world. We have conveniently included an complementary editing pen with the calendar-a $1.03 value!

And, if you call us in the next 10 minutes, we’ll knock 10% off the price. Simply provide an article from Amnesty International or Human Rights Watch naming you as a tyrant, dictator, junta strongman, general threat to regional security or any other acceptable euphemism for a bad guy and the discount is yours! Operators are standing by 24/7. All major credit cards are accepted. Sorry, livestock and daughters are not. If your money is tied up in an off-shore account, please ask for Supervisor 371 when you call.

What are others saying about Kim Jong Un's Threat-A-Day Calendar?

Beats throwing shoes at the infidels -Al Jazeera

Voted Best New Tool to Rattle The West's Cage-Taliban Times

It's the best!-Bashar al-Assad