NEW FROM IS BOOKS!

I was trying to cook one day and inevitably, Buddy came in from patrol and wanted to be fed. I was busy but he was hungry and started to tail me with intent. Or, for those who don't have felines, their habit of getting tangled in with our feet and rubbing their tail on you: "oh, Daddy, I love you so much and know you would just love to feed me". Oy. Of course, I fed him just to get him outta my hair so I could get on with my main objective at the time: making my food so I could get fed. While I was cooking, I thought of a silly detective tale. New from IS Books:

  

The Detective #24:  "The Case of the Missing Pierogi"

 
An elderly man was found dead in his kitchen. Evidently, he fell and hit his head on the stove, which knocked him unconscious. The wound bled out and he succumbed. It was a hot August day with temps in the mid-90s. His daughter, who lived there as well, found him upon arriving home around midnight after working 2nd shift at a convenience store. Their cat was found in the kitchen as well, mewing. The initial police reports ruled out foul play.

The Detective surveyed the scene having arrived a bit past 8 am the following morning. He generally worked on cold cases but occasionally was assigned those deemed odd or baffling.  The body had been removed and forensics had done their work. It was a small kitchen, around 12 foot square, with a counter running the entire length of the room on one side with a sink and window over it in the center. To the right of the counter was a stove and frig. Continuing right was a doorway out to a hall, a water fountain for the cat, a couple of small tables, one of which had a mini-garden and a microwave. To its right were the cat’s food dishes, both empty; a free-standing dish cupboard and another doorway leading to the dining room. On the stove top was a frying pan. He called the sergeant in charge who was first on the scene to see if the burner was on when they arrived. “It wasn’t on” he replied. An empty box of frozen pierogi sat on the counter but no pierogi could be found. “Where did they go?” wondered the detective as he drove back to the office. Hopefully, results from the coroner and labs would be back in a day or two.

“Why did the man fall?” This was a main question in the investigation but the detective received no help from the coroner. Stroke, heart attack, aneurysm, hypoglycemia or drugs were ruled out. The Department wanted to wrap this up since no foul play had occurred and they had no problem listing this a death unknown. The detective however, which was his nature, felt obliged to provide an explanation to the man’s loved ones. He talked to his boss about taking a couple of days to try and solve this. His captain agreed, recognizing the Detective’s history of successfully clearing cases. It also played well with the public.

“Did the man trip over the cat?” The Detective had one and like so many cats, it loved to wrap itself around his human’s feet especially when it was feeding time. He requested and was granted a visit with the daughter at the house and he asked about the cat whose name was Socks. “Did Socks often get under her father’s feet in the kitchen?”  She said yes but thought her Dad was pretty good maneuvering around his amorous feline. His biggest issue, however, was the arthritis in his hands. “How hungry was Socks when you came home?” The Detective had noticed that both the bowls for wet food and kibble were empty. The woman had come home early in the morning and one would have thought that the cat would be starving and very vocal about it. “Well, you know” she said “that was odd. Socks didn’t really bug me at all at the time. I hadn’t paid too much attention, for obvious reasons”. “Was food left out on the counter?” the Detective asked. “No, we try not to. He’s not a counter jumper and we didn’t want to give him a reason” the daughter replied. “Is Socks an indoor/outdoor cat?” ”No, she said, strictly indoor”. 
The Detective paused. A thought was forming in his mind.

“Where is is litterbox?” he asked. “In the basement.” the daughter replied. “Has it been cleaned since the incident”. “No”, she said “with the funeral and all, I haven’t had time”. “May I see it?" he asked. “Sure, down the stairs and hang a right into the furnace room” she replied. The Detective felt excited as he ran downstairs. He found the box and a scoop nearby which he used to clear out the clumps and place them into several evidence bags. He went back upstairs and thanked the daughter, expressing hope that there might be answers in the bags.

Indeed, they solved the case.

In the cat’s poop, there were remains of pierogi.The Detective theory was this: the man was getting ready to pan fry pierogi for lunch. What puzzled the Detective was why the burner had not been turned on yet. Nor was there any butter or oil in the pan. Upon research and asking the daughter about it, he found that some folk start out with a cold pan and fry warm and slow. While taking more time to cook, this method insured that the frozen pierogi cooked all the way through without burning them. 

The other puzzle was what happened to the pierogi? He noted that the box was not brand new-it had been opened on one end and the cardboard had been rolled to close. Why not take the box and shake the pierogi out onto the cold pan? He theorized that for some reason, the man was transferring them by hand. Odd, he thought, considering the man’s arthritis. He had asked the daughter how good or bad the her father’s hands were just before the accident. “No better, no worse than usual” she replied. “Took tylenol every morning when he got up”. The Detective returned to his earlier question: why not use the box and shake the pierogis out while standing right at the stove rather than to grab a handful and take 2-3 steps over to the stove? Was he in a hurry? Was the cat under his feet lobbying for some chow? He never figured this out. 

At any rate, the Detective’s theory was that while stepping over to the stove with a handful of frozen pierogi, the man had lost his grip on them and they fell to the floor. As he moved (probably startled) to get out of the way, one of his bare feet (it was a hot day) stepped on a frozen pierogi and much like stepping on an ice cube, he slipped and hit his head.

Meanwhile Socks the cat, having eaten all his kibble, was getting very hungry as the day turned into night. The pierogi thawed on the floor during the hours of 90° heat (no a/c in the house) and since they contained cheese and Socks loved dairy products, the starving cat ate them all. Weirdly, none had ended up under the man’s body when he fell. 

The Detective was quite pleased that he had figured out the mystery. The daughter was happy as were his superiors. He felt above all else, that the living deserved answers about how and why their loved ones died. This was his calling.