B-Happy
Birthday old man!
J-Thanks
dude-Oi-seems like we were just here.
B-Yeah,
that's how it works-time picks up velocity towards...well, you know-I
don't want to get morbid here.
J-No
worries, man. So what's happenin'?
B-Not
much-sleep, eat, patrol-pester Mom for attention. Avoid being
slugged.
J-Yep-summer's
winding down. Pool time is over. Crappy tomato year. Grass is growing
like it's May and the skeeters are bad.
B-Yeah
they are. Bastards bug me around the ears. Too bad-full moon tonight,
can't go out and enjoy it without being chewed up.
J-Well,
maybe we'll take a quick look-see.
B-Oh
you mean a “mark your territory break”? I'd really like to be
around when you explain those red splotchy bumps on your manhood to
Mom.
J-You
really have a deviant mind, pal. Geez.
B-Just
saying.
J-Really?
and you don't remember all the times I've warned you about your claws
during lap time? Yeah, I look forward to explaining those puncture
wounds in the ER.
B-I
can't help it-it's nice a warm down there and I relax. Takes effort
to keep the claws sheathed. I don't understand what you are whining
about-Mom doesn't have this problem.
J-BECAUSE
MOM DOESN'T HAVE THE SAME PARTS!
B-Stop
shouting you big baby. You're sounding like that idiot you apes are
close to choosing as a leader.
J-Not
even close, mofo.
B-Well,
I'll give you that-you are not a psychopathic liar. He reminds me of
this minor prince in Bavaria back in the day. Really makes one
consider the downside of reincarnation. This guy was a piece of work.
And some of those cardinals at the Vatican-Oi Vey! They make the
Beltway spinmeisters look like a bunch of 2nd graders when
it came to obfuscating the word of the Lord to advance the control
and the coffers of the Church. You sad poor apes-in exchange for the
big brains and opposable thumbs-you are doomed to make the same
mistakes over and over and over.
J-What's
the word from the League on all this? You still have your contacts?
B-It's
been pretty quiet although word around the watering hole is that they
have held special meetings and committees have been set up to act if
the elections goes south. Mind you-not that they find the man
terribly objectionable-it's about setting into motion a series of
attacks that will overwhelm his feeble abilities. It's risky because
a joke making the rounds is that this knucklehead will actually use a
nuke to kill a mosquito, lol.
J-That's
not really funny, man.
B-Shrug-sign
of the times. Zika is producing mixed results-definitely a dud as far
as the Olympics and in terms of population control-seems to be more a
terrorist/psychological effect than actually doing what was hoped. I
dunno-might be a controlled experiment to test the reactions of the
governments. Certainly seeing Congress hold up funding for months was
encouraging. I just worry that they have something brewing with the
viruses and we are entering the flu season.
J-Sigh.
Any good news?
B-Well
your feet hit the floor this morning.
J-Yeah.
All the rest is crap.
B-You
bet! Hey, this is for you.
J-What's
this? Hmmm...not very heavy, shape looks familiar....
M-Hello
boys-Joyeux
anniversaire, mon cher.
J-Thanks,
Molls!
B-Good
evening, Madame.
T-Open
your present! Open your present!
B-(oh
gawd)
J-Hey
Tomi! Well, the gang is all here. Let's take a look...why it's
chocolate.
T-Yay!!
Oui!!
B-(that
girl is always trippin')
J-Thanks
all-thank you for not bringing me something dead and how did you get
a hold of the choc?
B-Let's
just say it mysteriously vanished from the counter one day.
J-Where
did you hide it?
M-Under
the loveseat. You haven't vacuumed under there for a while so we
gambled it would be safe there.
B-Madame!
M-Shrug-tis
the truth-he asked. All sorts of goodies under there.
J-Well,
what's a birthday without some public shaming.
T-Madame's
in trouble!
M-(eyes
narrowing) you are this close to getting the back of my paw, girlie.
J-And
what's a birthday without a family fight-c'mon you two. I'm intrigued
to find out how you managed to wrap it. I mean, I can figure how you
pulled the paper towel out of the trash but how it is stuck together.
Odd-what's this weird stain?
B-Uhhh,
you really don't want to know. Say-how about a snack?
J-There's
bits of grass stuck in there...
B-C'mon-I'm
peckish-chop, chop.
J-(wtf
dude, this isn't what I think it is)
B-(I'll
tell you later) Come on now ladies...
T-Extra
helping for me, Daddy?
B-Oh
just steal it from Molls like you always do, piglet.
M-I
just let her steal it-I'm on a diet!
B-Well,
happy birthday, man. I'll be in later and we can dip into some drink and nip.
J-Ok-thanks
everyone!
B,M,T-YOU'RE
WELCOME!
Later...
J-Seriously,
dude-cat puke as a glue?
B-Works
well don't you think?
J-Gaack
B-Oh,
come on now-it's wrapped in foil and paper.Do you think we can manage scotch tape?
J-I
think I'll regift it back to Mom. (long pull on drambuie) She's been
having quite a sweet tooth.
B-Nice!
You're all heart! Damn, that's good nip! (flops on side on the desk)
J-Moon's
up.
B-Yep-good
sign-full moon on your birth day.
J-Feline
mythology?
B-Good
full year ahead.
J-Sounds
good to me.
