Tuesday, August 6, 2019
Post Retail Hell Decompression Dream
I dreamt I was working in a market that sold shark but insanely, kept them live on the premises so they would be as fresh as possible when they finally were put out for sale. They were 6-8 footers and kept in huge tanks of salt water. Something happened and the side doors on the tanks burst open. Image: me running for my life down a grocery aisle with sharks body surfing on the expelled water snapping at my body as they went by or come up behind me. I woke up. Ouff, intense.
Sunday, August 4, 2019
Gardening
“After you have exhausted what there is in business, politics, conviviality, love, and so on — have found that none of these finally satisfy, or permanently wear — what remains? Nature remains; to bring out from their torpid recesses, the affinities of a man or woman with the open air, the trees, fields, the changes of seasons — the sun by day and the stars of heaven by night.” -Walt Whitman
Sunday, July 28, 2019
Cat hygiene as depicted in medieval manuscripts
So you're a monk stuck in some god-awful dark and dank church building making holy manuscripts all day long and probably hectored by some PIA Bishop. Years and years you have been doing this and you began to think: Dear God, if I have to do Deuteronomy one more time, I'm gonna lose my shit. One day, you look over and one of the cats (oh, there are plenty around. Uhh, vermin issues) and he is doing what cats do. On a lark, you decide to take a break from the thees and thous and draw him. You show it to the guy next to you who happens to have a good sense of humor. You both begin to draw cats at work on the QT and the subversion spreads. Sometimes you insert an small image on one of the texts. Bad lad!
https://www.sadanduseless.com/funny-medieval-art/?fbclid=IwAR3Ni50C-txe5BPCDEcjVn3ozr-ns8ulV_oFxlQd27CCKJjUrvLhgyZd3S4#Q01yP4Z7XZTP7sgQ.01
https://www.sadanduseless.com/funny-medieval-art/?fbclid=IwAR3Ni50C-txe5BPCDEcjVn3ozr-ns8ulV_oFxlQd27CCKJjUrvLhgyZd3S4#Q01yP4Z7XZTP7sgQ.01
Saturday, July 27, 2019
C's 60th Birthday Celebration
Critters, swimming and books: a winning combination to celebrate my sweetie's 60th. We spent a couple of days in the Holland/Saugatuck area. Avoiding the mobs at Saugatuck's Oval Beach, we opted for Saugatuck Dunes State Park which is midway between the two towns. The park info warned of a 2/3 mile walk from the parking lot to the beach. I worried that this was gonna be a tough slog through the dunes but we were pleasantly surprised: the walk was entirely through the woods. The weather was clear and warm with a good breeze but alas, Lake Michigan was too frigid for the Watergirl. We hung out under our beach umbrella for a couple of hours until it was clear that the biting flies were going to be relentless. On the walk back:
Lil' Bucky! Before we left, someone had posted a short vid on FB about this fearless guy and there he was! In the flesh, velveted antlers and all! Just extraordinary--the park is protected land so the deer are not afraid of humans. Walking back through the woods, I spied a doe and motioned C to be still. The doe saw us and sauntered in front of us about 30 yards away. Then, a couple of spotted fawns appeared! Mom was leisurely walking down the trail seemingly unconcerned about her little ones. The fawns were in high spirits as they often are, playing games with bushes and jumping around. No worries with these folks! Normally, if a doe had spotted us, she would have immediately bolted along with her kids. What a treat!
After heading back to the hotel in Holland, C went for an hour swim in the pool while I rested. That evening, we had supper at The Wild Dog Grille in Douglas which is just to the south of Saugatuck. Relaxed upscale place with vegan offerings. Do check out if in the area.
The next morning and early afternoon, we spent in Saugatuck wandering through the shops. Nothing particularly extraordinary but C enjoys a good nosing around. A striking feature of the village was its dog culture. A good number of people had them and they seemed to be welcomed in most shops. In fact, cafes with outdoor seating had bowls of cool water for their canine visitors. We lunched at Fresh Basil Cafe and it was cool enough to sit outside. The counter was staffed by a couple of young ladies from Ukraine. More vegan grub and very tasty gelato and sorbetto.
That afternoon we went back to Holland to visit Centennial Park. A section of the park was being turned into a celebration of the Wizard of Oz which is one of C's favorites. Oz's author, L. Frank Baum vacationed frequently in the Holland area. The park will feature a combination of bronze and horticultural sculptures bordering a yellow brick road. The first piece has been completed--it is a living sculpture:
Across the street was the Holland Museum-they have a nice collection of 16th, 17th Century paintings by Dutch masters and a tiny Rembrandt etching, maybe 1"x2". In the gift shop, C spotted an A-Z compendium of Victorian illustrated children's books. That evening, we leafed through it in bed and I thought of one I had as a child. The book has been long lost, I made a mental note to look for it in Ann Arbor.
The next day we traveled to the Battle Creek area to visit Binder Park Zoo. We were there 9 years ago and remains one of our favorite places.
Cheetahs
Snow leopard
Lynx
Black Bear
Tortoise
The real Mr. Tortoise was undergoing medical treatment on a foot so we visited his bronze doppelganger.
Chinese Red Panda
B/W Ruffed Lemur
Peacocks
Peacocks wandered freely around the grounds. At the cafe, a couple of peahens panhandled for food. One readily ate french fries from C's hand while the other enjoyed a nearby family's pepperoni.
Llama
Mr. Llama enjoyed all sorts of scritches and here, C said he seemed to be sniffing her breath. His wasn't bad either.
Brachiosaurus Sculpture
This life-sized sculpture was pretty cool and getting close, it is astonishing just how large these creatures were.
The path to the trolley that takes one to Wild Africa.
You arrive at a replica trading post that over looks a savannah-like expanse.
For many, this is the highlight of the park-feeding the giraffes. Feed is romaine lettuce that costs $2/leaf. Oh, stop clutching your chest, it's a profit point for the organization.
"Say, do you have something for me?"
I asked where do the animals go during the winter. They said that they have a huge facility about 7 miles away and noted that the building looks quite out of place in it's surroundings. To accommodate giraffes, I bet it is!
That afternoon, we drove to Ann Arbor where C was born and lived until age 10. We got up bright and early to have breakfast at Zingerman's, a notable bakery/deli/cafe. Barely a block away is the Farmers' Market which is always fun to peruse. Waiting for shops to open downtown, we visited C's childhood home. Her elementary school is nearby, accessible by crossing the street from her home, then following a 20 yard tree-and- shrub-lined path.
Once downtown, we visited our favs: Crazy Wisdom Bookstore & Tea Room which offers selections on traditional and alternative religions and spirituality, feminist and LGBTQ and all sorts of oils, teas, incense, crystals; Ten Thousand Villages which sells international handcrafted items; Dawn Treader Book Store-one of C's most favorite book stores, it can only be described as a mix of something found in a Dickens novel or at Hogwarts. Books are jammed everywhere, floor to ceiling in a labyrinth of rooms with barely navigable paths. Someone recently commented to me that there's always a gem to be found there and indeed, I found one. I headed for the children's section, with only a vague memory of my childhood book and its cover. I immediately found it!!
The True Mother Goose-published in 1916, illustrated by Blanche Fisher Wright.

Fabulous, inventive imagery with strong colors that appealed to me as I began to make art. Somethings never go out of style and I would highly recommend this as a reading book to any parent with a youngster.
Finally, we came across a hole-in-the-wall book store called West Side Book Shop. Like Dawn Treader, it is wall to wall books with much towering from the floor like stalagmites. I was nosing around when C came up and told me I needed to check out the back room as there were photos and prints I would enjoy. Indeed. I was astonished to find on the walls a good number of original Edward Curtis photographs. Mr. Curtis received a grant in the early 20th Century from J. P. Morgan to document Native American life before it disappeared.
Beautiful sepia tones, shot on glass plates. And, they could be yours...if you had $1500 on hand. I chatted with the owner wondering how he obtained these museum quality pieces. "Oh, I've been collecting them for 40 years now". He was quite a character. Upon hearing that C teaches at MSU, he recounted the time when his professor invited him to a party. The guest of honor was Argentine author Jorge Borges who was giving a talk at Jocundry's Book Store in East Lansing!
We finished the celebration on C's Birthday with a meal at the State Room, practically the only upscale restaurant in town that offers vegan fare.
A fun-filled send off as my sweetie enters her seventh decade on the planet. Happy Birthday and I wish you many, many more.
Sunday, July 7, 2019
Barking Dog Blues
With apologies to Johnny Cash
I hear that doggie barking
He's barking all the time
I swear he's been barking since
1959
I went to get my gun out
But my wife said
No
It's 3am and I ain't slept
And I'm feelin'
Low
Mo' Movies: Little Women
2018 PBS mini-series-The 47th version (ok, I exaggerate, there's only been 15 or so) and one of the first movie franchises before Marvel. This version of Louisa May Alcott's classic novel stars Emily Watson, Angela Lansbury and Uma Thurman's daughter Maya Hawke (in her film debut). I feel this is an attempt at a more "naturalistic" rendition going beyond being the typical period clothes drama. The music is more down home-banjo, fiddle; the lighting looks more homey than a sound stage; clothing is less fancy, the actors have less movie star looks(they are allowed freckles). With 3 1/2 hours, the filmmakers had more time than most to add the nuance of these lives.
There are quibbles-the young female actors, especially Ms Hawke (as Jo) over-act a wee bit. They turned Laurie into a weak, crybaby snowflake (well, you don't see him bypassing college to become cannon fodder do you?). C was especially grumpy of scenes added and dialogue changed (why do they feel the need to do this-perfectly good dialogue in the book). She is a fan of 1994 Winona Ryder version and loves the book.
Worth watch though, especially for womenfolk-which sister did you see yourself as: creative and fiery Jo, practical Meg, selfish and spoiled Amy or doomed and saintly Beth?
Mo' Movies: Life of Crime
2014-A tale about an ill-planned kidnapping by couple of ex-con knuckleheads. Based on Elmore Leonard's novel "The Switch", the film stars Jennifer Aniston, John Hawkes and Tim Robbins.
Mildly interesting although having just re-watched Get Shorty, one spends the entire time thinking about how this could have been in the hands of a better director. He tries to emulate Tarantino but I think gets too hung up worrying that people will accuse him of precisely doing that. So, there is a whiff of the Q-the snappy dialogue and period music but quite bland in comparison. Probably the weakest part is whyo'why Jennifer Aniston? Ok, I can understand the concept of star power draw but really folks, Jen is limited. I wondered if the casting director was trying to be Q ironic by casting against type when they thought of Jen-you know-over the single-malts: "yeah, I was thinking this would be like casting Travolta in Pulp." Uhhh, well-this didn't pan out pal. Still, if you come across it-it's worth a view just for spending time in the convoluted universe of Elmore Leonard.
Mo' Movies: A Wrinkle in Time
2018-A Disney production based on the 1962 Newberry Medal young adult novel written by Madelaine L'Engle. Much in the vein of C.S. Lewis, the novel is heavily spiritualized but does address young folk's issues such as conformity and unusual for the era, female empowerment.
This adaptation totally neuters the Christian slant and puts the focus upon female empowerment and diversity. I cued up the tagline for the "Mod Squad": one white, one black, one blond and began a mental drinking game based on the Hollywood diversity check list:
african-american females-check
redhead-check
blond-check
hispanics-check
white people-check
CGI critters-check
indian females-check
white male of Greek descent-check
50ft Opray-bring another bottle and make the world stop spinning!!!
Sigh. After cramming all this and a boat load of CGI in and spending 150m bucks and losing 131m, this effort became the biggest box office bomb in history. While visually intriguing, it has a shaky plot (aka it's boring!!) and for the most part uninteresting for adults. It comes off as an after school special for 8th graders and they could have done just as well keeping it as an after school special. Face it folks, you ain't gonna do shit up against the Avengers franchise.
C, who is a big fan of C.S. Lewis and of the "Wrinkle" book, rolled her eyes grumbling about the producers turning it into a action flick.
Rolla
Meet our newest squirrel in residence: Rolla. She has been here for about a month and evidently has replaced Denton, whose whereabouts are unknown. We have speculated that she is related to D as they both exhibit a curious behavior: they lounge on their bellies. On a tree branch, on a pool railing, they splay out their limbs and chill. We never have seen this before-usually, squirrels keep in motion except to "prairie dog" or to have a snack.
We named her Rolla-short for Roland (the original name until I noticed no male parts under the tail), whose was a valiant and courageous warrior in the time of Charlemagne. She is fearless. C first encountered her and of course, tossed out some peanuts. Rolla came right up on the deck within feet of C and after a week, was close to accepting a peanut from her hand. Once summer finally arrived and we suppered on the deck, we always have some peanuts on the table. Rolla often stops in, although not to snack, she immediately runs off to bury her treasure. We notice a curious routine: she will pick up the peanut, inspect one end, turn it over and check out the other. She seems to be gnawing a bit on it,I joked she was putting on her personal bar code to warn other squirrels that this is her property. C and I agree that Rolla seems to be checking to make sure the peanut is intact with no holes thereby insuring the nut will be protected once burying.
What earned Rolla her moniker was her fearlessness around the katters. Most squirrels will flee if they see a feline heading their way and usually head to the nearest tree where they angrily chatter with their tails whipping back and forth. A few will stick around to mess with the cats just to piss them off as they are much faster and agile. Not Rolla-we have seen her walk calmly past a cat who is only a couple of feet away. We watched with amazement the first time Rolla did this to Tomi, who generally would immediately charge. Instead, Tomi sat there watching, gobsmacked by the sheer chutzpah of this squirrel. If Tomi's jaw could drop to the ground, it would have done so. Rolla has done the same to Bin and Molls and again, our buddies have just sat there watching. Meanwhile, Rolla goes about her routine, picks up and inspects the peanut then scampers off to bury.
I asked Bin about all of this and he was filled with admiration. "What about the girls?" I asked. "Well, Tomi is confused," he replied and "Molls is wary and a bit pissed. I am too old to try go head to head with a squirrel no less one who is young and obviously so bold. Eh. More fun to watch Tomi who acts like she doesn't know if she should shit or go blind, lol."
Thursday, January 31, 2019
Two Guys Talkin'
J-Jesus H. Christ, will you stop howling. Mom's trying to do yoga. You got scritches and you turned your nose up at the chow. And don't give me this nonsense that the can was corked-it was a brand new can!
B-I howl, therefore I am.
J-WTF is this? Descartes meets Ginsberg-give me a break. You are driving Mom and me nuts.
B-Well who ordered up this crap outside? I can't go out on patrol, it's colder than mouse titties, I'm stuck inside with Madame Grumpy Cat and Ms. Malice, can't get any grass so I can throw up and I haven't killed anything in a very, very long time. And, asshole, who shut the portal?
J-Dude, the portal FROZE SHUT-that's how cold it is. I was going to lock it anyway. Dangerous for you folk to be outside. Last thing I need is to have to drag one of your furry butts into the vet with frostbite and be subjected to staff stinkeyes: "how could you let your kitty go outside? What an asshole!".
B-Whoa. It froze shut-never seen that happen.
J-Well, man-you haven't seen 14 below before with the portal.
B-Sorry I'm grumpy. My tum's a bit jumpy.
J-Yeah, mine too.
B-I noticed you have been off your feed-what's up?
J-Oh, another wonderful consequence of being on steroids: gastritis. So, I'm on a bland diet now with less choices than ever.
B-Damn, that sucks man-I notice you're thinning too.
J-Yeah, both of us. Good news though, getting back to the weather-50 degrees on Monday. You'll be able to go on the porch bench-wander around the garage.
B-Yay!!
J-So, what is with you and Molls?
B-Nothing. Nothing. It's that damn trouble making Calico creating drama because she is bored. I have no idea why Molls decide to hang out a couple of times with me on your bed. Maybe she likes having your scent around or maybe she was mixing me up with her dead son. Who knows. I did, however, enjoy seeing Tomi get a paw to the grill, lol. That fat grey has a vicious right hook.
J-Sigh, cabin fever.
B-You bet-why not put on some ape porn for us to while away the time. Watching apes copulate is a hoot! Oh baby, Oh baby, right there baby.
J-Dude, porn is fake. It's like "pro" wrestling. I doubt real couples sound like this or do the ridiculous things portrayed.
B-Well true, based on what we've seen. We just thought you and Mom were kinda quiet and getting old.
J-Wow, Um, I don't know how to respond to all of that other than to point out that this is a bit oversharing with our audience.
B-Ah yes, the bashful apes. Getting back to the weather, Dude, bad bad stuff happening with The League.
J-Uh oh.
B-It's gone like America's politics: the moderates have become extinct. Everyone has splintered and going their own way to off your species. "By any means possible" is the new watchword. The last meeting was bonkers with many factions hysterical and justifiably so, given the rapid and catastrophic rise of extinctions. Lots of rumors of rogue ops. No cohesive effort. Just get it done and sooner the better.
J-Not good. How?
B-Word around the campfire is putting their bets with the viruses.
J-Oh gawd.
B-Yeah, right? (shudder) They're gonna target this country because your government has lost it's mind and gone anti-science-both in policy and funding. And now, with the shutdown with another threatened-great time to slip something in. Like the food supply or Coca Cola as in that book you read " The Brief History of the Dead". I've heard rumblings about mosquito-borne tropicals but they aren't getting as far North as hoped.
J-Well, it's gonna take years to first fix the mess the Orange Cockroach created and then get chunks of the world to sign on and try and roll back the emissions. I'm not hopeful.
B-Nope. Not where gold is involved and we all know how you apes love your shiny things.
J-Sigh. How about I make a nice fire and we can watch something, uh, other than ape porn.
B-Cool! You gonna get some popcorn so I can lick off the salt and leave sodden chunks on the carpet?
J-You can lobby Mom about that-no, how about that new tuna and shrimp stuff I've been getting?
B-Hell yes! (runs out to kitchen)
J-Well, at least I'm not getting tripped on the way to the kitchen. Oh stop howling. I'll be right there.
Wednesday, December 19, 2018
Two Guys Talkin'
Bin-(jumping on couch) ouufff-getting old, man.
Jeff-No shit, bud. Come warm your old bones by the fire.
B-(sigh) You bet. How are you doing?
J-The usual. Meds are waning.
B-Gawd, aren't we a pair of old guys? You gonna change the title of the blog?
J-Hell no. How was patrol? You weren't out long.
B-Nothing going on and it's cold and I'd rather be in here. Mom in bed?
J-Yep. The girls are conked out by the tree.
B-(sniffing) Whatcha got there?
J-A wee dram of Drambuie.
B-Damn, dude, I can see the fumes rising off the glass!
J-Mother's milk.
B-Man, helluva year. We're falling apart, the world's falling apart.
J-Yeah, it was. (shifting with pain spike). I can't do what I used to do. It sucks.
B-Want some cheese with this whine?
B-I know-can't jump like I used to, barely can eat kibble. Stiff in the morning. My kill count is way down.
J-Much to the relief of the small neighborhood critters, I am sure. But, it could be worse-I tell myself this every morning. Still...
B-Here, let me purr you better.
J-Thanks, buddy (scritches behind ears)
They watch the fire. The only other light in the room are the tree lights in the adjacent library. Jeff pulls on his drink. Bin raises his head and his ears move forward.
B-I hear bells.
J-What? Church bells? It's midnight already?
B-No, small bells, jingling.
A thump is heard on the roof.
B-(looking up at the ceiling) He's here!
J-What? C'mon, there's no...
Tomi-It's Santa! It's Santa! The little calico is dancing on her hind legs.
A large, bearded figure, lit by the tree lights, has appeared in the library with a large sack. He is bending down, petting the calico and chuckling.
Santa-Well, Thomasina, how nice to see you again. You have been such a good girl this year.
T- I know! I know!
Molls-Bonsoir, Monsieur.
J-Did I just see Molls do a kitty curtsey?
B-You sure did! Unbelievable!
S-Bonsoir, Madame. You have been good this year as well. Let's see, I've got something special for you both.
T-What is it? What is it? (she is twining around his legs)
S-Ahh, here we are.
He pulls out of his sack two small, foil topped containers. He removes the foil and the warm, mellow aroma of fish wafts though the room as he sets them down on the floor.
M-Oh my goodness!!!
T-It's from the lady in the blue house!!
The calico and the grey settle down to enjoy their savory treats.
J-What is this about?
B-When they were young and establishing their territory in Montrouge, a lady in a blue house would put out a treat for them. Homemade and delicious. It's a kittenhood memory.
S-That is my speciality, lads. He is standing by the fireplace warming his hands.
J-Care to sit down for a bit?
S-Thank you, that would be nice.
J-Would you like a dram?
S- I won't say no.
Jeff fetches another glass and pours about 2 fingers of the Scottish liqueur.
S-(taking a sip) Ahh, mother's milk. (settles back into the couch)
B-(sidemouths) He's another one of you!
J-So-what do we call you? Santa? Nick?
S-Whatever you wish.
J-What brings you here for an extended visit? You have quite a night ahead of you!
S-Well, I picked up some time over Washington DC-lots of quick deliveries of lumps of coal. A lot of very bad boys and girls in those parts, I can tell you. I heard you two were ailing so I thought I'd stop by and take a break. Good to see you again, Bin. I think the last time was when you were a Vatican cat.
B-That's right!
S-Then, you know the routine-birth, life, old age, death, rebirth. Getting old isn't easy but you know what is coming. It's these humans who suffer so much. They don't remember their pasts.
B-Yep. Jeff here is having a tough time.
S-There is nothing to fear, nothing to doubt, my friend.
J-How has it been for you?
S-Well, it's different for me-I am timeless.
B-He is all that is good and magical in the world.
J-So, you aren't Jesus?
S-(laughing out loud) No, no. I'm much older. Your species have always gathered at this time of year.
J-But I thought you didn't exist until the early Victorian era.
S-True-in my current manifestation.
S-BTW Jeff, I remember your mother well, She really loved the holidays. You know her favorite tales, and they are true, that her father went up on the roof to tamp out reindeer tracks for his children to see. And she loved putting out the kettle of tea with a plate of cookies for me. Man, that woman could bake! The nice touch was leaving a cookie behind with a bite taken out of it with plenty of crumbs on the plate. She was very creative.
J-Yeah, she was. I remember this. Miss her.
S-Yes,I am sure you do. But memories, good memories, help sustain us. Through good times and bad. Even times like these.
A quick couple of thuds and a jingle of bells are heard from the roof.
S-Well, lads-that is my navigator saying that I must be on my way. The night is early. Thank you for the dram and the nice fire. It will be a good new year for you both. Chins up, lads!
J,B-Thanks, Santa!
S-Check your stockings, I left you something to enjoy tonight.
He walks into the library, past the snoozing calico and grey and vanishes into a darkened corner. Soon, a clatter of bells is heard that slowly fade into the background.
J-Wow!
B-Indeed! So, let's check out the stockings.
J-Do you always think of food?
B-Sure!
J-Ok, here is yours I would bet-what do we have here-hmmm, another foil wrapped container. (opening)Hmm,mildly fishy and looks quite savory.
B-(sniffing) He really outdid himself! My favorite dish from my Vatican days. I told you our cook would make me a special dish-ohhh anchovies and cream. (settles down to eat) Mmm, a bit of heaven. What do you have?
J-Mozarts-hazelnut and chocolate candy. Nicely wrapped in foil bearing the great man's image.
J-You know, it was First Wife who introduced me to these. Used to buy them in this shop in Frandor called Grande Gourmet. They had this tiny bar in back that people didn't know about. We'd have the place to ourselves and get shit-faced, lol. Home was nearby. We were young.
B-(licking his whiskers) You've been thinking about her haven't you? Coming up on a landmark.
J-Yeah, 20 years since her passing. She was so sick on that final Christmas. I remember taking her out for a drive one evening to look at the neighborhood lights. Damn.
Bin-Well, food and memory all come together this time of year. One celebrates the giving to others-it is about the love folks have for each other. The feasts celebrate what one has going into the dark, lean times of Winter. And that the sun is returning and a rebirth of the land in Spring. It is the way of things. You know this, gardener, son of gardener, grandson of farmer. Ohh, man-that was delicious.
J-Mine too. I hope the old gentleman is right about the new year. I'm tired, man.
B-Me, too. But, not ready to move on yet. You?
J-Nope. Well, I'm going to toddle off, take some meds. Want another log on the fire?
B-That would be nice. See you in the morning, old man.
J-(laughs) See you in the morning, old cat.
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